Criticism needed for this song of mine.

[Kelil]

Hey Stephen,
I dig the tune. I think what Magne hears, and me to, is it sounds like a "cut in" at the intro. Like they maybe cut too close from
a lead in click or something? It's not as bad on second listen though.
It does sound a little retro, and the demo is good.
What I get a kick out of most is your accent, I like it. The thing that bothers me though is the
"beautiful sound" line sticks in my head better than "she blew me away" title line. Maybe if you
went up a step vocally on the hook line?
Really nice melody to the song for sure
Cheers
Steve

Thanks 2lane. yeah I hear what your saying about beatiful sound. I think its how I phrase it. I perhaps punch it out more than I do the actual lyrical hook of the song is this what you mean? and thus it engages the listener more?

Do you think it sounds like a finished/polished product as it sits? broadcast quality and all that for film/tv? I see what you mean about the cut in. they sent me back a mp3 and wav file version. But it's the mp3 version I figured out is the one with the slight cut in I think, but It's so miniscule I dont really notice it too much. I've submitted it for a custom.

Whats your take on the harmonies? is there too much going on do you think? a lot of people back home here in my family dont like the follow up harmonies in the verse but like the rest of it.

Stephen

Names Steve BTW Stephen
Yes, I think it's BQ, but take that with a grain of salt please. The BQ thing is really even a tough nut for Taxi to explain at times.
I think the back ups sound fine, all of them, but you know how subjective all this is.
The intro thing I wouldn't even worry about right now
On the hook line, I was thinking of going higher in pitch to give it some more definition, but maybe some growl or something in your voice might be enough there? It's really just a thought though Stephen
I'd like to hear what your custom says when you get it, if you feel like posting it up that is
Good luck with it whatever happens .
Steve

Oh sorry lol I thought you were saying ''cheers steve'' to me in your last post as I'm called Stephen also which is why I just referred to your forum name haha.

What does BQ stand for?

[Kelil]

wait a minute I got it !!! duh, its means broadcast quality lol....

Yeah I might see what the critique says and follow that advice too. Some more weird phrasing from me is needed for that lyrical hook hehe.

Thanks Steve

[2lane]

HaHa, just came back on to tell ya, but you got it
Steve to Stephen...cheers

[Kelil]

my apologies if I am beginning to get on peoples nerves about this but i'm just wonderin if you feel that this production is a bit bare or trimmed? do you think it could do with more instruments? if so, what would you suggest? I'm waiting on a custom critique and will post that up also as i'm interested in what taxi have to say about it. i've also got a mix minus the harmonies in verse 1 and 2 also on my page if ya wanna check that out.

Stephen

[majorshadow21]

I love the arrangement. I t's unique, original and upbeat!

Hi guys. I am in the middle of doing a new version of a song on my taxi page called ''She Blew Me Away.'' It is not mixed or mastered yet and backing vocals have yet to go down on it. My idea was to create something distinctive, contemporary, vintage but very current and out of the box a la The beatles, Kinks, Devendra banhart, fleet foxes etc etc. These are the type of listings I'm going for with it. What I want is your thoughts upon the track in terms of submitting to these listings and whether or not it would suit other listings as well? and... do you even like the song itself at all? Have I even hit the distinctive area at all of the artists I referenced?

Again the track is ''She Blew Me Away'' http://www.taxi.com/stephenmcelligott

Cheers guys, I'm looking forward to hearing back from you.
K

[majorshadow21]

The song is perfectly balanced. Your vocals are not lame. Despite the topic of "heart-break", the combination of the lyrics and upbeat tempo is a reminder that time will heal our broken hearts. Thanks for sharing.

[nick.moxsom]

Cool track, Stephen, and the b/vox are great.

As a fellow Brit (or at least this side of the water) I'm hearing more of a Mumfords influence than anything Beatles or Kinks – similar energy and pace – and in my book that makes it very current and marketable.

I might have been tempted to put b/vox behind the 'She Blew Me Away' line, which I agree could have a stronger presence with a more definitive melody. Be interesting to hear what the 'experts' say.

Really nice song, definitely good enough quality for broadcast, imo. Post up the critique when it arrives, and we can all learn from it.

Cheers,
Nick

[Kelil]

I definitely wasnt expecting the mumfords in there so that is a great one to hear. It will certainly would be interesting now to hear this custom critique. Perhaps I'm overthinking this production but I cant help but feel they will take it apart, whatever advice they give I will just have to take heed and get stuck into again.

Stephen

[Kelil]

The style falls somewhere between the singer-songwriter genres and pop/rock. It leans a little closer to the singer-songwriter style, mostly as a result of the vocal delivery and lyrical style.

Melody
The melody is well-differentiated and definitely keeps the listener engaged. Combined with the uptempo, perky bounce the melody is very effective.

Structure
The structure is very solid. The arrangement follows a pop song type of structure. This verse/chorus arrangement style will serve you well in your songwriting. There may be some areas of the structure that have room for strengthening. I'll talk about that more in my overall comments.

Lyric
The lyrics here are good. The message is effectively conveyed by the lyrics. For film/tv purposes, there may be areas of the lyrics that could also benefit from strengthening. Please see my overall comments.

Title
Since this is your "payoff line," it's likely the best title, at least based on the current lyrics.

Stephen,
Thanks for your submission "She Blew Me Away (film/tv)." This is a strong sonic effort. You've established a peppy groove and a nice acoustic guitar bed that serves the song well. I will answer your questions:

I want to know if you this this song is ready for submission for either film/tv or labels and publishers? It certainly is from a sonic standpoint, Lyrically there may be areas of potential strengthening as I mentioned. As is often the case, universal lyrics that leave out specifics like people, places and things tend to work better for film/tv simply because most cinematic scenes are lyrically-driven. So lines like "Smile could light the bulb of a Christmas tree" could singlehandedly take this song out of the running for any scenes not involving Christmas (which are most scenes). Yes I realize it's a metaphor but it may not matter to music supervisors or directors.

Also if I am to submit it to certain listings what ''a la's'' would you recommend I should put it in for submission? fleet foxes/devendra banhart are a good start. I would also say John Mayer, Jack Johnson or Jason Mraz on the more commercial side of the singer-songwriter genres.

A couple more observations:
I did not hear a real standout bridge section that lyrically sums of the overall sentiment of the song. You've got something that sort of serves this purpose with "She's got my undivided attention" etc. But this resolves more like a chorus and then enters an outro. I might suggest crafting a sung bridge section that lyrically sums up the song and could be inserted after chorus 2 before your solo section. I really enjoyed your tune man. I hope my comments/suggestions prove helpful. Best of luck!

melody, production and enginneering all got a 9.

Lyrics and marketability got an 8

and song structure got a 7

My thoughts: Yep I see where he is coming from with the whole Christmas tree lyric in relation to film and T.V ( places, names etc ) and I like his view upon the structure of the song such as insert the bridge that sums up the song before the instrumental breakdown. But for me the bridge I have in it at the moment does lyrically sum up the song, shes a girl with a great voice afraid to come out of a cage that really isnt there and the bridge then sums it up by saying she finally came out of herself in the end. So I respectively disagree with him there although he made a great point about at least ''moving'' the bridge section.

As with the whole Christmas tree thing, it's a metaphor and clearly the song leans more towards all three seasons such as summer autumn and winter. I think 'IF' ( and thats a big iffy ) the music supervisors or directors can somehow comprehend that... and take hold of it.... as just a metaphor... that it wont spoil their movie and that it could be a good choice for them. Also that lyrical part of the track itself does not have to be incorporated into the movie itself or whatever the case may be according to the supervisors tastes.

I really enjoyed his critique. He showed no mercy which is exactly what I'm after. I'm gonna be cheeky now and submit it for another one I really thought he was gonna beat me up for the arrangment but he really seemed to dig the song, and I managed to at least hit the fleet fox/devendra banhart listings on the head with that one. But it's always good to get at least TWO good a&r opinions before submission and then if you find a lot of your returns are the same critiques or reasons why the song gets rejected THEN it would be time for a ''right I'll change it'' moment.

Let me know your thoughts guys


*mumbles* ''I'd like to see them write a song without their favourite season like Christmas in it. *mumble mumble* ( just joking )