Untitled work in progress- thoughts very welcome

[morganroberts]

Here's a piece I'm working on. It feels like something isn't right, but I've listened to it so many times, I'm not sure I can tell what it is.

http://soundcloud.com/jazzvln/epic-sadn ... ng-title-1

[RogerG]

Hi Morgan,

I didn't see any responses to this so I thought I'd throw in my two cents. Of course as usual everything is just my opinion for whatever it's worth...

First thing that I notice is this is in a major key and the website has the name "Epic Sadness"? It sounds more like music to me that they would be playing in a movie like "Lord of the Rings" while they're panning around scenery etc. Not after a main character has died or something as that title would suggest. It's more relaxing than sad to me. But of course your subject says it's untitled so that's probably a moot point.

Production-wise I'm hearing thumping low down especially in the beginning which is distracting. You might isolate what's causing that and roll off the lower frequencies (if you can). My other thought is your samples aren't smoothly transitioning. If that's what's causing the thumping, try carefully cross-fading them together so everything's smooth.

Also that bell sample or whatever it is, ouch. I'd use a different sample entirely or at least lower and reverb the current bell more. The volume of the bell isn't very consistent either which may be partly why it's sticking out to me.

There's also a "swoosh" in there that's distracting. It sounds very electronic and everything else is orchestral. It's probably better to stick with actual orchestral instruments when doing a piece like this. Maybe a rainstick or some other percussion would give you the desired effect?

Anyway just my two cents like I said before. Hope that helps. - Roger Gilpin

[morganroberts]

Hi Roger,

Thanks for the reply. I never thought it was a sad tune either, but everyone I played it for thought it was, hence the name. I agree about the bells. They're aweful. I originially wrote it without them, and the "wooshing" sound you hear is probably the cymbals, which I'm also not fond of. I'm not sure what you mean about the thumping. I haven't heard that at all. I'll have to take a closer listen for it. I'll take a look at it and repost it. Thanks again for the reply.

Morgan

[Cruciform]

Hi Morgan,

I'll return and have a listen later when I can turn my speakers on (people still sleeping). Roger's LOTR reference caught my attention. Just as a suggestion, it's helpful to have a hint of genre/style in your thread title.

[morganroberts]

Ok so I reworked it a little, and removed the cymbals and bells (never heard that thumping, but maybe they were the cause). Besides any other advice, which is greatly appreciated, I want your opinion on whether the sections flow from one to the other well. That's what's bugging me most this time around. I left the original up for comparison (if you care).

http://soundcloud.com/jazzvln/untitled

Thanks,
Morgan

[RogerG]

Hi Morgan,

I don't hear the thumping anymore on the version without the bells. So maybe that was it.

As for flow, your flow sounds fine to me except the loudest section is near the beginning middle. Normally it would be near the end or at least close to it (about where our heroes come over the hill and see the castle where an epic battle is supposed to take place to stay with the LOTR reference ). By the way a hit of some type right at the loudest point makes sense. Maybe some cinematic drums to replace the original bells?

As I said before, just my two cents. Others may completely disagree. - Roger

[Cruciform]

Hi Morgan,

Personally I don't find it sad. Reflective, nostalgic even. I listened to both versions. While the bells and cymbals didn't necessarily sit comfortably in the mix (that can be fixed with eq, delay and reverb), I preferred the first version to the second. The second is missing something.

I really like the composition, it's very mood setting. It might be worth trying to get some more depth and width into it by layering in some appropriate pads. (Of course, that depends on your final goal for this.)

Maybe try A/Bing your piece against works like these and try to work in some additional elements that build up and intensify the emotion.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPbOvj3tyfQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXVzg2PiZw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUKwGphL3i4

You don't necessarily need percussion, but analyse the way these guys use layering of textures and instruments to add the light and shade.

[morganroberts]

Hi Guys,

Thanks for the tips. Cruciform the youtube examples were very appreciated. I was able to do a little bit of work on it this morning, but now I have some other ideas to try, so I hope to have another version of it up tomorrow (if you haven't lost interest). Once again thanks for the advice.

M

[morganroberts]

ok, so after two days of messing around with this song, I've killed it. I need to walk away from this one for a week or so. I have plenty more to work on and this one is just plain bugging me. Thanks for your help on it. I'll repost it when I come back around to it

M

[morganroberts]

Hi guys,

I finally had time to sit down and rework this. I kept the main themes, but changed the feel. I've also renamed it. Again, the other versions are still up for comparison. Let me know what you think.

http://soundcloud.com/jazzvln/call-to-arms