Simple Ways to Improve Your Life

[burpo]

1. Use Kosher salt instead of regular salt.
2. Get the dog/cat to help with the grocery shopping.
3. Start writing all your haiku in German. (trust me on this one)
4. Use a Sharpie to extend the expiration date on dairy products.
(that stuff's expensive and it really does add up.)
5. Stop using the credit cards to buy drugs.
6. Every now and then, submit an MP3 of Elvis' "That's Alright Mama"
to a listing. (I know. That's a little "outside the box," but he IS the king
and hey, a forward's a forward.)
7. Get better parents.
8. Vote a week early. (avoid the lines.)
9. Keep an extra digeridoo in the car. (thanks Flufferpuff!)
10. Start all of your pre-choruses with the word "wooly."
(all of the really big hits do this.)
11. Use more sustainable and eco-friendly adverbs.
12. Spank your kids in morse code.
13. Rename a homeless person.
14. Forgive, I mean really forgive, John Wilkes Booth.

These simple things have really improved the quality of
my daily life and I'm happy to share them with you all.

Hope this helps.

[eeoo]

Come on Burpo, tell me something I don't know already...

eo

[Kolstad]

AHAHAHAAAAHHAhahahaaaa #6 cracks me up!!!!

[mojobone]

Actually, you can use sea salt; it's the same as kosher, just less coarse.

[michael11]

I found this so,amusing AND helpful I have included it on my website under,

Burpo’s Philo ( I couldn’t spell philosophies!)

[burpo]

Always glad to spread the wisdom...

[michael11]

Always glad to spread the wisdom...

Have you thought about writing a book!!!!!????

[burpo]

Most of my thoughts revolve around salty snacks.

[gtrmann]

Thanks Burpo, I am now looking for a digeridoo to put behind the seat in my truck, along with the tire jack and tip jar....

[rnrmachine]

Now I know why my life sucks... I haven't done ANY of these things...