Ain't It a Beautiful Thing (one more time)

[mikeShort]

Yet another revision. I've tried to make the imagery pop more, and firm up the structure of the song. I paid attention to the people that told me it started too slow, and I've tried to address that, too. What do you think?

Ain't It a Beautiful Thing
by Michael B. Short © 2011

Sun rising
Under eight shades of blue
And not a cloud gets in the way
And behind me
Moon still hanging
Reluctant to go away

Chorus
Ain't it a beautiful thing
Ain't it a sight to behold
Ain't this a chance to shine [After first time: Ain't this my chance to shine]
More precious than gold
Another day to conquer the world
Ain't it a beautiful thing

My tea is cold
Never drank it
I let myself float away
To touch the sun
Embrace the moon
And hold them tight all day

Chorus

Bridge
Yesterday it was raining
I got knocked down and there I stayed
But today hope is rising
And I'm on my feet again

Chaos
May catch me soon enough
And this peace may pass away
But with the sun and the moon
In my back pocket
Nothing can stand in my way

Chorus 2x
Last time: It's a beautiful thing/A sight to behold/My chance to shine ...

[FMstereo]

Hi Mike

Really like the new bridge, that's a great idea.

Cheers

[mikeShort]

Thank you, Frances-Mary. I'm targeting this to a listing due next week, and working very hard on it. We'll see ...

[RonKujawa]

Hi, Mike.

I really like the feel you have going here. About the only line that stuck out to me was at the end of your bridge "But with the sun and the moon in my back pocket". It's not bad, but to me a little weird. Nice job on the song!

Ron

[mikeShort]

Maybe it was too poetical, but what I was trying to say was that having seen the sunrise, with the moon still hanging around, nothing that happened during the day could take it away.

[Jarrean]

I like your attention to detail, Mike. I'd change the line--And behind me/Moonstill hanging/... to--And behind me/Moon still lingering/Reluctant to go way-- and maybe change something in the second verse starting at the place of "To touch the sun" I just feel like those three lines are weak in imagery compared to the rest of the piece.