Thank You Screener #79

[Casey H]

My song, "A Kiss On The Cheek" did not get the forward for the listing I submitted for... I kinda knew the lyrics weren't universal enough going in and there were some other issues. However, screener #79 said the following about the lyrics and made my day...

The lyric is filled with all sorts of descriptive imagery that draws the listener into the story you're telling. I particularly love the last two lines of the first verse. They sum up the intense feelings you have for the person you're writing about in a wonderfully succinct manner. I also love the fact that so much of your character and personality comes across in the story line. This allows your "voice" as a songwriter to seem that much more distinctive.

Hey Charles - Thank you so much for submitting. I find myself immediately captivated by the lyrics in this song. The language you use and the conversational tone of the narrative are both highly effective. You're especially good at painting descriptive mental pictures with your imagery. Listing to the narrative unfold feels like eavesdropping on a conversation. The stuff you're relating seems extremely personal, and you present the characters in a very descriptive manner. The line about liking the girl as she looks naturally is particularly revealing.

There are 2 versions of the song on my Taxi page, "A Kiss On The Cheek" and "A Kiss On The Cheek (v2)"...

If you want to listen with lyrics, they are available at: http://www.caseysongs.com/music-21.html

Thank you screener #79!

Casey

[crazyhooks]

Well Case,
Ya know I Dont know the lisiting but if it was for 90s Rem / Black Crowes, midtempo meaningful lyric..etc
I think its dead on. I like the close harmony and the phrasing on the chorus and the more acoustic groove
ala more folk.
Good one

J.

[CrimsnSyrn]

Lovely song, Casey! And what awesome feedback from the screener! This will find a home somewhere.

After listening to it though, I got to thinking about those last two lines of the first verse. And I wonder, was your intention to give the impression that:

a. to you, she's attractive without make-up and you like her that way so she needn't bother,
b. you two are such good friends, and she's so comfortable and natural with you in your friendship that she doesn't think to put make-up on (like she thinks of you as a brother); or
c. she's not attracted to you "in that way", so she's not going to bother putting make-up on? ( harsh!)

I find it interesting that the screener took it only one way -I wonder if (b or c) was really the intended idea?

Anyway, it's a great song, with a really sweet sentiment!

Juliet

[Casey H]

d. Any one or all of the above.

Casey

[CrimsnSyrn]

Aw, I figured you'd say that! A practiced pro!

[AndyKotz]

Those were great words to receive especially in a professional critique! Well done Casey!