Another Phony Sick Day

[GlennPageMusic]

ANOTHER PHONY SICK DAY

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man, that guy won't quit

Verse 1:
Looked great when we saw him
In the bar 'round 1 a.m.
And the last time that he called out
He came back with a tan

But he left our boss a voicemail
Used his "I'm sick" cough
Said he fell and stubbed a toenail
And he needs the whole week off

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man, that guy won't quit

Verse 2:
He somehow picked up parvo
Though I'm sure he's not a pup
Food poisoning at S'barro
"Dude, I CAN'T STOP THROWING UP!"

Last week was the vapours
Next week he'll get gout
Or nicked with his new razor
And damn-near bleed right out

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man, that guy won't quit

Bridge:
How could he still be walkin'
With health that's so debased?
He'd be inside a coffin
They'd shoot off into space

Verse 3:
Now he's at the office
And this time it's for real
He's sneezing and he's coughing
And hacking with great zeal

My temperature is rising,
He shoulda stayed at home
Used up all his sick time
Now we've gotta use our own!

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man, that guy won't quit

Copyright July 27, 2012 by Glenn Page

[tagast]

haha, this is hilarious. My only thought is maybe change the last chorus to something about using our not phony sick days, just to carry the punchline. Nice work, it made me laugh.

[GlennPageMusic]

Thanks, glad you enjoyed!

I understand what you're saying about the last chorus... I'll see if i can re-work it in a way that makes sense to me. Thanks!

[PaulCrick]

Love the humour in this. Great job!

[mikeShort]

This is great. Nice and cohesive.

I have no idea what "parvo" is, but because of the next line, I can figure out quickly enough that it's an animal disease and stop worrying about it. And it sets up the S'barro couplet which is totally hilarious. I'm just throwing out a warning that things most people in the audience don't understand can derail them for the next couple of lines. I don't think that's an issue here so much, because of the next line answering my question.

[GlennPageMusic]

Point taken, Mike. You're right, not everyone knows what Parvo is. I was looking for the simplest disease that animals get that a person couldn't actually contractt, and that was the first thing I thought of.

It is a tough balancing act to write lyrics that are semi-clever without sounding like you're trying too hard or alienating folks who don't "get" it. That's basically why I wrote the next couple of lines the way I did, so that people who didn't get it right away could easily pick it up from the context.

Glad you thought the S'barro line was funny! Thanks for reading!

[nylyrics]

NIce work. I think of the Red Solo Cup vibe on this one. Like the last chorus suggestion to wrap it up.

Good luck!

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