Come to Me (singer/songwriter)

[Casey H]

Nice song, Ron
You have a nice singer-songwriter sound-- like your voice.

I think some of the challenges here are:

No real chorus... The "come to me" refrain is OK but I don't know if it's enough. The listener wants it to go somewhere and it just misses it there. It's not a very melodic verse so not bringing in that melodic thing in a chorus, makes it tougher.

It's a subject that's been done a lot before. So the more uniqueness can you apply to how to "say it", the better. "Come to me" isn't a killer hook line. All the imagery is in the verse. I'm wondering if there is a better hook than "come to me" out there-- one with more magic in the imagery.

The bridge could add more change up. I wouldn't start it with the hook line, "come to me".

The above may sound very negative... Not meant that way... It's more that I hear a good song and I think it could be made much better.

Best,
Casey

[RonKujawa]

Casey,

Thanks for your comment about my voice. Two or three years ago, I would not have thought I'd be doing this style, but I have really come to dig it a lot.

I have the utmost respect for you and I appreciate all comments you offer. I don't take anything you say as "very negative". You have helped me reevaluate my stuff in the past and I always appreciate your perspective. I don't always agree with everything, but your comments are well thought out and I get the impression you are sincerely trying to help us all improve at our writing. Thank you, sir!

I agree with you on starting the bridge with "Come to Me". I tried something else for a bit and I ended up coming back to it, but each time I get to that line it feels a little sappy.

I'll play with the idea of a full chorus and/or a different title, but I really like the setup of an expectation in the verses and the simple statement of the refrain that fulfills that expectation. We'll see.

Ron

EDIT: I changed the first line of the bridge to "If the waves are crashing in / I'll be the rock that you can stand on"

[eddied]

Hi, Ron:

I really like the song! There has been so much helpful input earlier in the thread. However I want to echo one comment by Rich, expanding on that -- while the production is tasteful and cool, I think you need a little more dynamics. I think you could really emphasize the build of the bridge by cutting back down to nothing but the acoustic afterwards (right at 1:48) -- and then bring the snare and keyboard back in at 2:00, with your voice . . . or maybe the keyboard continuing is cool, but just drop the snare until you start singing again.

Anyway, just a thought or two, great work!

EddieD