Your Beautiful Self - Storyline Clear?

[nylyrics]

Hi All,

I've been trying to get this one right for a long time. Are there any flaws in the storyline? This is for a female
vocal. Needs to be 100% believable (is based on a true story in part) Thanks.

Andy


Your Beautiful Self
© 2013 Andy Mackay

Who else calls me April flowers and brings me tangerine tea
Or saves raindrops for good luck in jars?
You’re the angel I needed
When I was down and defeated you played me to sleep
with that beat up guitar

And in every song you sing me i hear your dreams coming through
I just cant, be the one, to chase them with you

So go be Your Beautiful Self
True and strong
Down the road you’re on
and when you love somebody else
think of me
And In your heart you’ll know
I had to let you go

Since those lonely hours, you found me in tears on the train
you helped me back on my feet
But you’re a brilliant musician and if you stay here you’ll be missin’
The life you want for me

We’ve given, we’ve taken, had good times worth savin’
Pink diasies need their blue butterflies
We came together, we’ll leave a little bit better
Sometimes we must all say goodbye
Please before I cry

Go be your beautiful self
Take this kiss on your sweet sweet lips
And when you love somebody else
Think of me and in your heart you’ll know
I had to let you go

(Short break)

Go be your beautiful self
Take this kiss on your sweet sweet lips
And when you love somebody else
Think of me and in your heart you’ll know
I had to let you go

[ChipD]

Awesome imagery in this one, Andy! I absolutely love how creative these lyrics are!

Here's what I get of the story line:

1. Girl meets eccentric musician boy

2. Girl and boy have unique times and fall in love

3. Boy needs to pursue musical career which, for some unspecified reason, can't work out for girl

4. Girl breaks up with boy because of incompatible musician lifestyle but wants boy to leave the relationship feeling positive and hopeful

The only suggestion I'd have is to weave the reason that the boy's dream lifestyle is incompatible into the story. Because he'll be on the road? Because he'll be in Nashville, LA, or NYC? Because she has to stay put for a reason?

The choruses seem a little general, so maybe that's a place for more specifics if you think that the suggestion is worth pursuing.

Keep up the good work!

[mikeShort]

I think Chip is 100% right. Great images, wistful memories, but missing the opportunity to close the deal by not answering the question that the listeners will surely ask: If he's so wonderful, why did the singer let him go?

[nylyrics]

Hey Mike and Chip, thank you for your feedback. I agree - just trying to say it in a way that fits the rest of the song.


Andy