Hurricanes.

[templar77]

I came from a time
a generation an era
lost in the minds
of those who came later.

A youthful rejoice
lost on those who have died
and future generations
wont shed a single tear
even with story's
of this mythical kingdom.


CHORUS.

The childrens laughter faded
all the blue skies turned to grey
and the sunshine into rain
the gentle summer breezes
turned to hurricanes
but i'll remember all the people
and their ever smilling face
and even though they tore
away the skyline
in our hearts it still remains.

Now lost to oblivion
torn down by machines
with their jaws of rusted steel
it's only true existence
burned into the minds
of an older generation
who once thrived there as a child.

CHORUS.

The childrens laughter faded
all the blue skies turned to grey
and the sunshine into rain
the gentle summer breezes
turned to hurricanes
but i'll remember all the people
and their ever smilling face
and even though they tore
away the skyline
in our hearts it still remains.

The greenest of grass
and the blue'st of skies
black velvet nights
a billion diamonds would shine
lighting a path in clear darkest nights.

CHORUS.

The childrens laughter faded
all the blue skies turned to grey
and the sunshine into rain
the gentle summer breezes
turned to hurricanes
but i'll remember all the people
and their ever smilling face
and even though they tore
away the skyline
in our hearts it still remains.

This is about the place where i grew up as a child,the people,the characters,the friendships,the seamingly endless summers.All before most of the people left,and the machines came and tore the place down.Some of it still remains,as do some of it's original inhabitants.But the magic is gone.

Steve.

[Casey H]

Steve
What's your goal with these lyrics? Genre/style? Film/TV? Artist song pitch? Just honing your lyric craft?

Best,
Casey

[templar77]

Hey Casey,thanks for looking over my lyrics.All my lyrics are based on personel experiences,these lyrics are in the genre of modern,alt pop.

All the best.
Steve.

[Casey H]

Hi Steve
It's important to know the target when reviewing lyrics because what works is so different depending on this. These are interesting lyrics.

If you are targeting song pitches for artists: In rock and indie pop, you won't find many artists recording other people's songs. And if they were, you really have to think about the lyrical style they'd be likely to have interest in. This is a bit of a story, message song but also pretty vague. Its deep, personal meaning to you who can explain what it means will not likely resonate with other artists. If you hadn't explained it, I don't know if I would have 'got' it. It would need more universal appeal. One of the few genres where outside writers are used is country. But I don't think this vague and dark storyline would fly there. (Not a country expert by any means).

If you are thinking film/TV, that requires universal lyrics, focusing more on emotion than detailed story, and can't have words that would readily interfere with scenes the song might be used in. You have to write such that a song might be usable in many different types of scenes.

Nothing wrong with writing deeply personal from that place inside you. But commercial songwriting requires you mold that personal thing into something everyone can readily relate to. As a general rule, if you have to explain it, it's not working.

Best of luck,
Casey