Eavesdropping (Christmas lyric)

[Kolstad]

Haven't spent much time in this part of the forums, so thought I'd give it a go.

Wonder how the concept of eavesdropping sits with you in a Christmas lyric?
I tried to play a bit around with it, but not sure I've nailed it yet.

I'm not a native english speaker, so I wonder if anything in the lyric sticks out as something you'd never say?

Eavesdropping
© 2013 Magne Kolstad

I’m snooping around
My breath is way down
I tilt my head to the side
No one can hide

I see it in their faces
They can’t see eye to eye
When I start asking questions
Stuff are wrapped up in their smiles

I’m eavesdropping
Cause Santa’s coming soon
Eavesdropping
Maybe I shoot for the moon
But I’d like to know
Cause time goes so slow
And my head has been shopping
So I’m eavesdropping

I edge in, not too close
Neath the mistletoe
Checking my sock
Watching the clock

They say it’s amazing
Christmas’ on its way
But all we do is waiting
All talk and no play

I’m eavesdropping
Cause Santa’s coming soon
Eavesdropping
Maybe I shoot for the moon
But I’d like to know
Cause time goes so slow
And my head has been shopping
So I’m eavesdropping

Shush, there was that look again
I tap my lips with my hand
I’m going to get that information
Doing Joule tide observations

I’m eavesdropping
Cause Santa’s coming soon
Eavesdropping
Maybe I shoot for the moon
But I’d like to know
Cause time goes so slow
And my head has been shopping
So all I can do
From my point of view
To stop this day from flopping
Is eavesdropping

Yes I’m eavesdropping
Eavesdropping

[simonsays]

Hi Magne,
Seeing as nobody's touched this get ... I thought I'd chime in.
Steve (aka, simonsays)

Haven't spent much time in this part of the forums, so thought I'd give it a go.

Wonder how the concept of eavesdropping sits with you in a Christmas lyric?
Snooping on one's parents is par for the course during christmas time. At least for me and my family.

I tried to play a bit around with it, but not sure I've nailed it yet.

I'm not a native english speaker, so I wonder if anything in the lyric sticks out as something you'd never say?

Eavesdropping The title says it all. I tend to like things with twists ... but IMO a straightforward (to the point) title is way better than a confusing or cryptic one.

Have you considered a connection with Christmas EVE and EAVEsdropping? I was thinking something along the lines of:

I'm eavesdropping
on this here Christmas Eve
yeah eavesdropping
and wondering what I should believe




© 2013 Magne Kolstad

I’m snooping around This line I get. the next three are confusing.
My breath is way down Where is this kid snooping? By a door? If so, say so. If he's out in the open, then he's not snooping.
I tilt my head to the side
(No one can) hide How does tilting his/her head not allow others to hide?

I (can?) see it in their faces
They can’t see eye to eye
When I start asking questions
(Stuff) (is are) wrapped up in their smiles What stuff? Lies? Guile? Stuff is not very descriptive. Also, I believe stuff is singular ... so is should be used, not are. I could be wrong, but that's what my mental ear says.

I’m eavesdropping
Cause Santa’s coming soon
Eavesdropping
Maybe I'm shooting for the moon
But I’d like to know
Cause time goes so slow
And my head (can't stop? has been) shopping
So I’m eavesdropping

I edge in, not too close
Neath the mistletoe
Checking my sock
Watching the clock

They say it’s amazing I love this verse Magne!
Christmas’ on its way
But all we do is waiting
All talk and no play

I’m eavesdropping
Cause Santa’s coming soon
Eavesdropping
Maybe I shoot for the moon
But I’d like to know
Cause time goes so slow
And my head has been shopping
So I’m eavesdropping

Shush, there('s was) that look again
I tap my lips with my hand
I’m going to get that information
Doing (Yule Joule) tide observations A 'Joule' is a unit of thermal energy. Is this an intended twist? If so, the "hand tapping the lips" didn't set it up for me. (Is there an eastern significance to that gesture? A pointer upraised against the lips means SHUSH here.
Something like "a hot head's a tongues worst friend" might work. (That is, get them mad ... and their tongues might slip.)

I’m eavesdropping
Cause Santa’s coming soon
Eavesdropping
Maybe I shoot for the moon
But I’d like to know
Cause time goes so slow
And my head has been shopping
So all I can do
From my point of view
To stop this day from flopping
Is eavesdropping

Yes I’m eavesdropping
Eavesdropping

[Kolstad]

Hi Magne,
Seeing as nobody's touched this get ... I thought I'd chime in.
Steve (aka, simonsays)

Haven't spent much time in this part of the forums, so thought I'd give it a go.

Wonder how the concept of eavesdropping sits with you in a Christmas lyric?
Snooping on one's parents is par for the course during christmas time. At least for me and my family.

I tried to play a bit around with it, but not sure I've nailed it yet.

I'm not a native english speaker, so I wonder if anything in the lyric sticks out as something you'd never say?

Eavesdropping The title says it all. I tend to like things with twists ... but IMO a straightforward (to the point) title is way better than a confusing or cryptic one.

Have you considered a connection with Christmas EVE and EAVEsdropping? I was thinking something along the lines of:

I'm eavesdropping
on this here Christmas Eve
yeah eavesdropping
and wondering what I should believe

I did consider connecting it, but decided it was to on the nose, and that the connection was easily made by the listener anyway. Nice verse, though. Couldn't come up with anything like that when I wrote

© 2013 Magne Kolstad

I’m snooping around This line I get. the next three are confusing.
My breath is way down Where is this kid snooping? By a door? If so, say so. If he's out in the open, then he's not snooping.
I tilt my head to the side
(No one can) hide How does tilting his/her head not allow others to hide?

I (can?) see it in their faces tnx, I probably did too much trimming too early
They can’t see eye to eye
When I start asking questions
(Stuff) (is are) wrapped up in their smiles What stuff? Lies? Guile? Stuff is not very descriptive. Also, I believe stuff is singular ... so is should be used, not are. I could be wrong, but that's what my mental ear says. You're right, "stuff" is not very exciting. Dang, I constantly struggle with the "is" and "are"s. Must have been daydreaming too much in my English classes when I was a kid

I’m eavesdropping
Cause Santa’s coming soon
Eavesdropping
Maybe I'm shooting for the moon
But I’d like to know
Cause time goes so slow
And my head (can't stop? has been) shopping
So I’m eavesdropping

I edge in, not too close
Neath the mistletoe
Checking my sock
Watching the clock

They say it’s amazing I love this verse Magne! Thanks Steve!
Christmas’ on its way
But all we do is waiting
All talk and no play

I’m eavesdropping
Cause Santa’s coming soon
Eavesdropping
Maybe I shoot for the moon
But I’d like to know
Cause time goes so slow
And my head has been shopping
So I’m eavesdropping

Shush, there('s was) that look again
I tap my lips with my hand
I’m going to get that information
Doing (Yule Joule) tide observations A 'Joule' is a unit of thermal energy. Is this an intended twist? If so, the "hand tapping the lips" didn't set it up for me. (Is there an eastern significance to that gesture? A pointer upraised against the lips means SHUSH here.
Something like "a hot head's a tongues worst friend" might work. (That is, get them mad ... and their tongues might slip.)
No exotic twist, I'm afraid. Yule tide was what I meant

I’m eavesdropping
Cause Santa’s coming soon
Eavesdropping
Maybe I shoot for the moon
But I’d like to know
Cause time goes so slow
And my head has been shopping
So all I can do
From my point of view
To stop this day from flopping
Is eavesdropping

Yes I’m eavesdropping
Eavesdropping

Appreciate the run through, Steve. It's really helpful, thanks!
Will do a few edits, and then shelf it