MALE and FEMALE, ACOUSTIC FOLK-LEANING SINGER/SONGWRITER SONGS in the stylistic wheelhouse of Joni Mitchell, Townes Van Zandt, Joan Baez, Nick Drake, etc., are needed by the Owner of a extraordinary Music Library with an incredible list of placements in TV shows, Films, Trailers, and commercials. He's looking for authentic performances that have tons of emotional pull. Songs must have engaging and believable vocal performances, solid musicianship, and a natural, organic-sounding production style.
Fair enough, I did keep the note range pretty narrow on this one. I don't really hear a ton of range in a lot of Drake's or Van Zandt's tunes, but obviously there is TONS in Mitchell's and Baez's. So, point well taken here.the melody might not have enough differentiation, as the chorus isn't quite standing out enough. In other words the chorus melody is in a similar note range as the verses.
Also, you have a nice lyrical hook with "build a bigger fire." However, more of the verse lyrics could directly set-up or "point-to" this important lyrical hook.
Lyricists - I'd be interested in some advice/other opinions here. 'Smoke drifting away", "scars", "stop the shivering", are all mentioned in the first verse. By the time the chorus mentions "building a bigger fire", letting the listener know that the subject has been "burned before", talking about not being "cold and lonely", does the second verse and bridge really need even MORE "fire" references? After all, the chorus also lets the listener know what the bigger fire symbolizes - ("warm and happy home"), and much of the second verse & bridge deal with building the trust needed to get that place. In other words, trying to move past the problems of the past (or the fire) and not dwell on them in order to create a newer, better situation. Any ideas on how I could have accomplished that better, still tying everything into the hook?
Still learning this lyric writing craft, but I really want it to become a strong point for me; it is what I spend the bulk of my writing/studying time on these days. Really helps having people on here to get "first impressions" from, so big thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to respond.
Could you post the lyrics as well? Then folks can make comments on both the music and words. I'll be back when I can listen again while reading the words.
