are these lyrics universal?

[rdance]

planning to write a new one for a gritty blues rock listing due next tuesday.

GRITTY BLUES ROCK SONGS in the general stylistic ballpark of ZZ Top, Stevie Ray Vaughan, etc. are needed by an A-LIST MUSIC SUPERVISOR working on an incredibly successful HIT TV SERIES. Mid-To-Up Tempo Songs with MALE vocals will work best for this pitch. Your songs should have a strong, driving energy and momentum that can propel a scene forward. Stylistically, think of songs that could fit on the same playlist as "Sharp Dressed Man" or "Crossfire". "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top: http://bit.ly/1526joN "Crossfire" by Stevie Ray Vaughan: http://bit.ly/19KWBXa This Supervisor is on the hunt for the electric Texas Blues Rock sound, full of swagger and attitude. Quoting the source: "We need a great song that will just reach out and grab you. The kind of song that has undeniable energy and a fierce groove. Obviously, we want guitar-driven songs with a kind of ‘bad boy’ feel." This Music Supervisor is NOT interested in anything that sounds contemporary or Indie. He needs need good old, tried and true, guitar-driven gritty Blues Rock. Don't mess with anything too far outside of that formula. He wants a song that relates to the tough and rugged characters of this show. Please don't submit anything, sweet, cute, sugar coated, light, or pretty. It just won't work. Keep your lyrics universal. Avoid references to specific names, dates, places, times, brands, etc.

are the lyrics below universal enough? that is, is the 'river' image too specific, or is it metaphorical enough?

thanks in advance!

Big House on the Hill

V1
Down on the river bottom, on the wrong side of town
The big river keeps on ragin’, and the water ain’t goin’ down
If you’re among the lucky ones, you can head for higher ground
When the big river keeps on ragin’, and the rain’s still comin’ down

Pre-Chorus
Well we stomped alotta miles through the muck and the mud
Ran like hell every time it flood
My daddy used to say to me…son I have a dream

Chorus
Someday I’m gonna live, in a big house on the hill
I swear I’ve had my fill, of the river below
And when I’m in my big house, my big house on the hill
River bottom fair thee well, I ain’t goin’ back no more

V2
Down here on the bottom, been rainin’ hard for days
I got nowhere to run to, wind’s blowin’ like a hurricane
If I was among the lucky ones, I’d be on higher ground
But the big river’s got me stuck on the wrong side of town

Pre-Chorus

Chorus

V3
Now I ain’t among the lucky ones, up on higher ground
And there ain’t no room for the poor folks, on the rich man’s side of town

Pre-Chorus

Chorus

[funsongs]

fwiw:
There's certainly imagery that is pretty well defined...
a low-lying place that's subject of high-water floods, but home-grown folks
either can't afford to, nor...for sentimental reasons...want to move to safer, higher ground.

This congers up news video footage of a recent disaster, or "breaking news" thing.

If you want to use those kinds of lyrics for how someone might feel in their soul and emotions,
then being less specific might be the next step...?

How? substitute rivers and waters for something that speaks of tears? heartbreak? envy? of those who have escaped the danger...

Is the "low side" really the "wrong" side? is another thought that hit me; or is it just the sad side...the unfortunate locale?

The overall concept is a good one...the story does sound pretty specific as it reads.

Your mileage may vary.
HTH.

Peter R.
http://www.soundcloud.com/funsongs-1

[Kolstad]

The verses seems pretty metaphorical, but the prechorus and the chorus has their share of physical detail, so I'd say no, you will have a hard time fitting this to a scene without some of those specifics from the physical imagery will get in the way. The thing is that we seldom know the images or storylines in advance, so any type of physical imagery is gambling and speculation.

If you can differentiate between physical detail (houses, roads, muck, mud ect.) and emotional detail (tickled her mind, tore up her heart, beat up his pride ect.), and choose the emotional detail when writing for tv/ film, you'll have a bigger chance to craft an universal style lyric. It's harder to write, but also really rewarding.

The funny thing is that the universal is not something general and abstract at all, on the contrary, it is specific and all about recognition. When writing with emotional detail, others can say "yes" I've felt exactly like that before! = universal. So the marriage between music and story lines/ concepts on tv/film is made through the emotional language, and not so much through descriptions of the outside world (despite the great symbolism in the metaphors we all love as part of musical traditions).

Even though much of the verses are metaphors, they will still be read/heard as physical references when put up against the show, and thereby attract attention. However, all of this does not matter if the music is to be used as source music (a band playing, a jukebox, radio ect.). In that context of use, this may work perfectly as is. I don't think that's the case though, as they stress the universals in the listing.

[rdance]

hey fun, thanks! that was very helpful, good ideas to noodle with.

[funsongs]

"noodle" is quite specific...
I may need to go for a cup of chicken soup, now.

[funsongs]

seriously, though...how about a stab at V1?

Down like a river's bottom...or on the sad side of town
Life's waters rage over me...and the level's not coming down
Unless you're one of the lucky ones...You can't hope on your higher ground....

(do those keep your thought, but remove enough specifics?)

fun

[funsongs]

went nuts with it...(don't get me started )...
I noticed the need, imho, to decide if the vantage point is first person (I,me) or 3rd (We)...I took the we route:
for what it's worth...just another go at it...

V1)
Down like a river’s bottom….or on the sad side of town
Life’s waters rage over us….and the level’s not going down
Unless you’re one of the lucky ones….you can’t hope on your higher ground
Cause storms just keep on coming….and the rains keep coming down

Pre)
We’ve stomped miles through muck and mud
We ran when we could from the flood
My daddy used to say to me…”son, I have this dream…”

Chorus)
“Someday you and I are gonna live….in a big house on the hill
I swear we’ve had enough of settling down below
And when we’re in our big house, our house up on the hill
No longer drowning down under…and we aint goin’ back no mo’…!!”

V2)
Been down on the bottom…it’s been this way for far too long
We got nowhere to go….when life’s storms blow
If we were among the fortunate ones, we’d be up on higher ground
But, for now, the flood’s got us stuck….on the saddest side of town

V3) or Bridge?

For now, we aint among the lucky ones…with hopes on higher ground
Cause there aint no room for the poorest folks…on the rich man’s side of town

whatever
Peter R.
www.soundcloud.com/funsongs-1

[rdance]

magne, thank you! thoughtful, experienced explanation. i normally write instrumentals, so not used to banging out lyrics...but totally get what you are saying. (original lyrics were a co-write from a couple of years ago for a specific tv 'flood' use when all the rivers were spilling over their banks in the news).

i have already re-written the lyrics in the context you are describing. keeping only a few of the literal descriptions (muck, mud, etc.), but they are woven in with other phrases that are more direct descriptions of emotions, so the metaphorical meaning of muck, mud, etc. is obvious.

really appreciate your time and help!

[Casey H]

Hi Richard
Nice meeting you in LA! Sorry we didn't get to chat!

These lyrics are not at all universal for film/TV. Pretty much throughout the song, they have way too much story and too many specifics. Think about the words and ask yourself how many TV scenes would there be whereby the lyrics wouldn't be completely at odds with whatever the show is about?

It's best to try to focus on an emotion first, rather than a detailed story. That doesn't mean you don't add *SOME* backing story to it, but you want something that fits MANY scenes. For example, if your song had the hook "I'm so alone", "I'll work through the pain", "I love life",etc. (just some random examples), you could match that to many, many spots in film/TV. When you talk about rain pouring down, rivers raging, a big house on the hill, etc.... well, you get my point.

Robin Frederick's book is a good reference... http://www.amazon.com/Shortcuts-Songwri ... 0982004028

Best,
Casey

[Kolstad]

Robin Frederick's book is a good reference... http://www.amazon.com/Shortcuts-Songwri ... 0982004028

Best,
Casey

+endlessly

I second that. The distinction between physical and emotional I referred to in my post, I got from that particular book (sorry I let that slip unreferenced). Part two in the book on how to fit your music into the tv/film genres is also an absolute MUST read! If everyone in these forums had read this book, I'm guessing it would reduce the questions posted, with 50% or more.