Next Time You See Me I'll Be Gone - please review, thanks

[Skatzsinger]

Hey, Newbie here with one of my recent lyrics. It's got an acoustic singer-songwriter vibe, I'll post the recording soon but I'd like to hear what everyone thinks of the lyrics first.

Thanks in advance. Here goes:

Next Time You See Me (I'll Be Gone)

Next time you see me, I’ll be gone
Just another blade of grass cut from the lawn
And when the wind blows over
I’ll be far off with the clover
In another field of green, green, green
That’s where I’m blown, that’s where I’m blown

Next time you see me, I’ll be gone
Just another jaded lover leaving home
Oh you can treat me like the weather
For we’re chained and bound together
Like the thunder to the snow, snow, snow
That covers up my road, covers up my road

Tear up all my winter clothes and throw them to the fire
Brush the dead leaves clagging up the wire
And if you hear my footsteps over the clamour and the cries
Don’t you bow and mourn, for be sure I’ve seen the dawn
And I must be movin’ on, next time you see me I’ll be gone

Next time you see me, I’ll be gone
Just another fading voice I call my own
Whispered out across the water
Cryin’ out over the border
For I’ve left behind the moan moan moan
And I’ve found my home, oh I’ve found my home

Put aside your tired suspicions hardened by the race
Clean the lines a-crowded on your face
Turn to hear my footsteps over the clamour and the cries
Don’t you bow and mourn, for be sure I’ve seen the dawn
And my feet have moved me on, next time you see me I’ll be gone
Next time you see me, next time you see me
Next time you see me I’ll be home

[smam60]

Hi, I am a newbie to taxi. I only write lyrics. You can see my lyrics on lyric lovers under smam60. I really like the title. I think next time you see me I'll be gone is a dynamite title. The ending of the song I believe is a pleasant surprise that is well done. The verses in the lyric have appealing variety. As a guy who only writes lyrics. I don't understand the doubling of words like snow and roads but you are a composer not just a lyricist so soon hopefully I will learn that part of song writing also. It was enjoyable and educational reading your lyric. Best of luck with the song. Andy smam60@tds.net.

[Skatzsinger]

Hi, I am a newbie to taxi. I only write lyrics. You can see my lyrics on lyric lovers under smam60. I really like the title. I think next time you see me I'll be gone is a dynamite title. The ending of the song I believe is a pleasant surprise that is well done. The verses in the lyric have appealing variety. As a guy who only writes lyrics. I don't understand the doubling of words like snow and roads but you are a composer not just a lyricist so soon hopefully I will learn that part of song writing also. It was enjoyable and educational reading your lyric. Best of luck with the song. Andy smam60@tds.net.

Hey thanks Andy for those positive words. Interesting you talked about the doubling up. I will post up a recording of the song in the near future, I've already recorded it once but I've begun to work with a producer who has much better recording facilities so I'm going to re-work the track. When you hear it you will hopefully see why some lines and words repeat. It's all to do with the chord sequence and how it falls towards the guitar riff at the end of the verse.

I'll have a look for your lyrics over the weekend and return the favour.
Thanks again,
Skatz