Acoustic Singer Songwriter a la Tristan Prettyman

[HillbillyStash]

Got a tune here called "Everyday Hope" for upcoming listing TAXI #S150703SS (ACOUSTIC-BASED SINGER/SONGWRITER SONGS with Male or Female Vocals are needed for NON-Exclusive, Direct-to-Music Supervisor placements on an MTV Reality TV Show).

Looking for some feedback / thoughts / suggestions / mix critiques etc. Any input on improvements to be made would be greatly appreciated! Or if not on target, those opinions are welcome as well. Or if it is on target but needs tweaking or whatever... all opinions welcome. Thanks!

"Everyday Hope" is the track: http://www.taximusic.com/hosting/home.p ... t=pgbanker

[songmaster]

Hi

I enjoyed listening to your song. I thought the music was well balanced and easy to listen to. I am not a studio guy, but the one thing that ( to my ears ) was a little disconnected was the tone of the vocal. It seemed a tad too trebley. I felt like she was singing in another room also.

I will leave it to more savvy recording people to let you know how to fatten up the vocals and maybe bring them more to the front.

Anyway, just my 2 cents. Great song and I enjoyed listening to " Redneck Rodeo " Good luck with all your music.

Tom

[HillbillyStash]

Cool, thanks Tom! Yeah, I think I went overboard on vocal treatment. I will dial it back and see if I can't make it feel more cohesive. Thanks so much for your input. Greatly appreciated

[lesmac]

Lovely song, I enjoyed it too and agree with Tom.

I'm an absolute beginner but thought maybe you could make more use of the stereo field. I can hear cymbals panned wide but the rest seemed to be in the centre.

Cheers Lester

[Len911]

http://tristanprettyman.com/music/detail/back_to_home


I'll just say that there is a night and day contrast between the vocals.

[mikemichnya]

Hey PG,

I still have a way to go on mix/production, so I can't help you there. I wish you had posted the lyrics so I could read them, and give you more specific comments, but what I heard there didn't really knock me out. Your first verse suffers from too much information, and your second verse didn't really expand the story in a fresh or unique way. I'd write a completely new second verse that goes more to the hook (what is it about him that gives her hope everyday?) and I'd combine the best lines from your current two verses into something like (and this isn't it, necessarily):

I wake up tired, and feel off beat (this is, I think, the best line. I didn't really get your second line, though)
I make some coffee and drag my feet
Looking out the window, time passes slow
Should've made some changes long ago

Take a look at the pre-chorus lyrics to Prettyman's "Back to Home:"

And the air's getting thin
Where the wings meet the wind
We see it, we can feel it and we know this

That first couplet is beautifully poetic and visual, and I encourage you to challenge yourself to write lines equally as strong in your lyrics. The rhythm of the pre-chorus lyric is a great contrast to the chorus; it really sets up the chorus beautifully:

I believe in something more
all the days that came before
led us right to where we are
right to where we are
it’s all written in the stars
we’ve already come so far
and we can’t change who we are
ah ah who we are
ohhhhhhhh who we are
ohhhhhhhh who we are

She just hammers that hook home, repeating it four times. (BTW, I think your hook is "you give me Hope Everyday" not "Everyday Hope".)

But the big problem, I think for this listing, is that your melody isn't as inventive as some of the reference artist's songs, and had a dated, more country feel, IMHO. I agree w/the suggestion to really listen to the reference artists and see what they're doing melodically, and really work on your melody.

Hope this helps! Good luck with whatever you decide.

[lesmac]

The absolute beginner bit in my post strikes me as slightly weird on reflection. I am reasonably new to the desk side of things and am still growing my ears. Late developer.
Post made with best intentions. I do think the track sounds great.
Best Lester

[HillbillyStash]

Thanks guys! I appreciate the input. All very helpful.

I appreciate all the lyric suggestions Michael. All good food for thought. I guess a songwriters work is never done.

Lester, I dig your "Big wave wah" instrumental. Very cool. Thanks again for the input guys!