that song you JUST KNEW was a forward but wasnt :(

[khalilismail]

Ever had one of those??? This one was for a listing that pitched songs for Sam Smith to sing. Check it out and tell me what you think
Also open to collaborate. Melodies and lyrics come easy for me.

https://soundcloud.com/khalilismail/tak ... ay/s-BPuno

[burpo]

Hi there!

You want the good news or the good news, first?

The good news is that you're a talent.

The GOOD news is that with work you'll be bangin' out forwards in no time.

Good thing you JUST KNEW this was a forward, cuz I didn't.

Your track starts off with a nice, mellow throwback 1-6-4-5 groove. Very late 50s-early 60s. Cool.

Trouble is, the intervals in the the verse melody kind of bob up and down around sea level.

You might be able to get away with that for a while, but by the pre-chorus or chorus, we need a lift.
We need to soar!!

Sam Smith is a heavy hitter. He has folks lined up around four blocks to give him songs.
Any song that even makes it to his manager/producer/whomever has to have some show-stopping moments.
Some "holy cow" moments that make peoples jaws drop and say "What a voice."

If you're gonna write this Sam Smith, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston type of song, it has to have
some big payoff moments, some high flying notes and a wow moment or two.

Maybe it's as simple as an octave jump like the first two notes of "Over the Rainbow."

You have a terrific start here. Remember the old axiom, "Writing is re-writing."
For the kind of high-bar listings that seem to catch your eye, you can't merely be thinking
that you're writing a song, but Crafting a Classic.


Well, forgive me if I've gone too far. I just saw that no one has responded to your post and I know how that feels.
I'm by no means any kind of expert, so if anything I said has value to you, great!
If not, just disregard.

Thank you for sharing your track with all of us. I applaud your creativity and courage to submit your work for scrutiny.

All the best to you.

-b

[VanderBoegh]

Dude, great voice. Shake the dust off. You'll be a force to be reckoned with if you just keep after it.

~~Matt