melancholy, acoustic s.s. song listing - how this one?

[johnlewitt]

Hi All,

How's this one work for the listing below:

https://soundcloud.com/john-lewitt/expendable

I believe it's stylistically similar to Justin & Jason tracks.

Thanks for listening, John

MELANCHOLY, ACOUSTIC GUITAR-based SINGER/SONGWRITER SONGS with Male Vocals are quickly needed for NON-Exclusive placements by the Producer of an Independent Film. We recently ran this as TAXI Listing #U151026SS, and they’re scrambling to find even more material for this project. If you made a submission to TAXI Listing #U151026SS, please send different material this time around. The Film’s Producer is looking really hard to find heavyhearted, Down-Tempo Songs that could generally be found on the same rainy day playlist as the references below:

“The Toll” by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tHUur9iR3o

“Lone Pine Hill” by Justin Townes Earl:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyMoq483rx0

“Cover Me Up” by Jason Isbell:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdwnGG29Upw

“Mere Ornaments” by J. Tillman:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qdMUg2MtTA

Quoting the Film’s Producer: “This is for the tragic end of the movie as multiple characters lie dead, and we want a haunting song that leaves the audience feeling the sadness of the story, but hope for the future.”

Please submit Stripped-Down acoustic guitar-based songs with a mournful message that will make even the toughest person well up with tears. Additional instrumentation could work, but the main focus of your song should be an acoustic guitar. Your melodies don’t need to be overly ambitious for this pitch. Instead, a simple yet engaging melody that showcases the lyric, emotion, and texture of the vocal performance would work best.

[cassmcentee]

Great one John!

To me 1 thing could make it a perfect fit for a death scene...
The slide should accent the downward slides (to me that represents death/sadness/depression), right now it emphasizes the upward slides and they sound a little happy.
(the tuning of the slide also feels out a little bit) I could be wrong, just what my ears heard...
I would then drown it in reverb and send it to the back so it is a bit more ghostly.
2 cents for what it's worth...

Keep it Up! (or in this case Down)

[mobster85]

Great ideas Cass. Nice one John. Good luck.

[songmaster]

Hey John, nice track. It has that introspective quality that they seem to be asking for. I like the lines " all that bull " and "one big joke ". The song seems to have that Blue Rodeo sound, maybe it's the harmonica. I think it would be a great song to submit. I would go for it.

Tom

[nylyrics]

John:

Great work. Hard to do - write on demand for what this listing asks for "feeling sad but with hope for the future". Very fitting for submitting!

Only suggestion is bringing back the lyric at 1:20-1:30 a second time If you could lead to that on the back end.

Good luck! Should be a forward.

Andy

[johnlewitt]

Thanks all - the feedback is always appreciated!

Cass, I'll try making it ghostly, thanks. I know I'm walking a fine line here - how can something be sad but have hope for the future? I figured the slide sound itself is sorrowful, but the part could be optimistic! But maybe I'm overthinking it.

John