I Was Aiming For His Head

[good4somethingbum]

I Was Aiming For His Head ©2016 Robert George BMI

Well, I bought this big secluded farm
Locked my vintage Harley in the barn
And my only neighbor lived across the creek
She’s a quiet lady, almost eighty…kinda frail n weak

Late one night I heard a noise outside
Saw a shadow runnin’ in the pale moonlight
Grabbed my phone and I dialed 911
Then I heard the echo of a gun
Well, the police found him ‘cross the creek
Moanin’ on the ground, with a coupla rounds in his right buttcheek

That old gal was standin’ there
With a pistol in her hand
When the local cop, said it was a hellavuh shot
She said, “Sonny, you don’t understand

I was aiming for his head
But I hit him low instead
I guess I’m to blame
It affects my aim
When I mix moonshine with my meds
I was kinda plastered
Cos that bastard should be dead
I was aiming for his head”

I’d planned to be away for the holidays
Thought if she watched the farm
Kept an eye on the barn I’d throw a few bucks her way
Then I had a goofy hunch
So I did a google search while havin’ lunch

It turned out she did a dime upstate
Cos she shot her husband with a .38
She put two rounds in his knee
Cos he changed the channel during “Dynasty”

Well, the whole town turned out for the trial
She took the stand and raised her right hand and
With a crazy smile she said

“I was aiming for his head
But I hit him low instead
I guess I’m to blame
It affects my aim
When I mix moonshine with my meds
I was kinda plastered
Cos that bastard should be dead
I was aiming for his head”

Well, I’m all for feminism
And I don’t mind she did some time in prison
I’m just afraid I’ll make her mad some day
And when the cops show up she’ll say

“I was aiming for his head
But I hit him low instead
I guess I’m to blame
It affects my aim
When I mix moonshine with my meds
I was kinda plastered
Cos that bastard should be dead
I was aiming for his head”