Crazy Set of Scales

[good4somethingbum]

Crazy Set of Scales ©2016 Robert George BMI

I remember way back in my drinkin’ days
I’d wake up at noon lost in a headache haze
One night I got in a bar fight with a drunken fool
There were busted tables and a buncha broken stools

When the bouncer tossed me on the sidewalk
I staggered home and threw up in a pail
I was soon to learn the brutal lesson
That justice has a crazy set of scales

Police poundin’ on my front door got me out of bed
When the guy I’d gotten in a fight with turned up dead
They’d found him on a subway platform with a broken neck
With no alibi, detectives said that I was the logical suspect

Well, my lawyer was a rookie
And he couldn’t get me out on bail
Then my trial was over in a coupla hours
Cos justice has a crazy set of scales

Bloggers said the jury wanted to get home
Cos the Jets were playin’ at the AstroDome
Ev’ryone was baffled when I was acquitted
The DA slammed his briefcase shut and frowned
The judge dismissed the jury and he stared me down
Hell, even my own lawyer thought I did it

Well, I went and bought a jug of Jim Beam
And went home to celebrate avoiding jail
Then I thought I should be grateful
That justice has a crazy set of scales

I remembered how my youthful daydreams
Used to fly to the moon
And then land on the sun
I got up and dumped that jug of Jim Beam
Sat there that afternoon
And played “Band on the Run”

Two months later I received a blocked text on my phone
For a payday come to Central Park and come alone
I met him by a duck pond near a buckeye tree
It turned out my trial judge had a dirty job for me

Yeah, his intern at the courthouse
Was a nineteen year old piece of tail
I’d be well paid if his wife was murdered
And justice has a crazy set of scales

Well, that judge’s wife was once a country girl
Now she wears a noose of Black Tahitian pearls
And attends A-list parties wrapped in jewels and faux furs
She’s the star of penthouse charity events
But it’s a papier- mache pretense
And her cocktail life is wrapped in fools and chauffeurs

And that golden dame had no idea
That it all was up for sale
And the weight of wealth is worthless
Cos justice has a crazy set of scales

I made two quick calls and then an uptown stop
Met the judge at midnight for the money drop
Brought a necklace of Tahitian pearls as proof of death
He said she’d prob’ly clung to them till her last breath

Then a dozen cops came out of nowhere
Read his rights and hauled him off to jail
I had a wire taped inside my jacket
And justice has a crazy set of scales

Well, his wife was grateful that I’d warned her of his plan
And I saw her smile at me when I was on the stand
Then the long arm of the law became the hand of fate
His mistress dumped him and a thug became his prison mate

After their divorce his wife stopped by
And we toasted life with ginger ale
We played records and we sat there talkin’
How justice has a crazy set of scales