This Melody Lacks Emotion(?)

[ernstinen]

I'm really surprised to get a return on Taxi listing #Y170107RB. This was for "80's pop/R&B that SOUNDS like it was recorded in the 80's." CHECK. Because it WAS recorded in the 80's, with all the production sounds of that era, and my arrangement... My co-writer, Denise Nickels and I worked very hard on this song, trying to give a female's emotional perspective of a relationship. I think we accomplished that, with a soaring and emotional chorus. But what really set this song apart was that I was working with one of the best pop/R&B singers in L.A. at the time, Patti Unaitis. I gigged with her for years, and she just nailed this vocal.

So here's screener #309's analysis of this song: "You're on target with the listing, however, melodically your song doesn't capture enough emotion." Huh? Not enough emotion, eh? Wow.

Here's the song: https://soundcloud.com/ernstjohn7-1/gon ... good-thing

I'm a very emotional guy, and Denise is an extremely emotional gal. How this didn't come across as not capturing "enough emotion" is just baffling to me. I'm open to the reality that it doesn't. What do y'all think?

Ern

[Casey H]

Yea, we need to see the whole listing. Excellent track.

It's interesting that the screener said the MELODY wasn't emotional enough as opposed to the VOCAL which is what most comments about emotion are usually about. The only thing I could think of without seeing the listing is the chorus doesn't have melodic lift. It's possible they were looking for that. It comes down to the listing.

Casey

[Kolstad]

Like Casey writes, I think you need to assess the feedback relative to the listing, not in general. As I understand the Taxi language, "on target" just means that its a relevant submission for the listing that can be considered. But choosing between the relevant submissions is less about ticking the boxes, Id imagine.

For my part, I've most often found that 80s writing production did smooth out too much of the dynamics, which to me is important for emotion. So Im not feeling it either, but I never have with most 80s material tbh. That doesnt mean less appreciation of talent, though, which is definitely here.

I could easily hear this in a show a la Baywatch, Miami Vice ect from the 80s.

[Len911]

. Excellent track.
The only thing I could think of without seeing the listing is the chorus doesn't have melodic lift. It's possible they were looking for that.
Casey

I agree. The prosody is off in the title, the word 'in' is not stressed. Though even if it was, I'm not sure "Gonna give in to a good thing"
is climactic enough for the rest of the song, which is really much higher caliber. The song sounds closer to the seventies to me.