Christmas listing: would love feedback!

[mikehamm123]

This is my submission for the recent Christmas music listing. Would love your feedback!

Arrangement, mix, composition, use of samples.

https://soundcloud.com/user-819745024/c ... -mike-hamm

The listing specified 'songs' but allowed underscores as well.

Please comment--especially as I am trying to up my game as far as using samples go.

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The listing:

ORIGINAL, CHRISTMAS INSTRUMENTALS are U-R-G-E-N-T-L-Y needed for a few (up to) $3,000 placements by a successful, Non-Exclusive Music Library in a new Feature Film from a Major Film Studio.
 
We’re not giving any references for this request, as the Music Library wants to hear a wide range of Mid-to-Up-Tempo Christmas Instrumentals that can be in almost any style, within reason! In other words, if the genre is something like Pop, R&B, Country, Hip Hop, Punk/Pop or Rock, those are probably “within reason.” Alien Space Metal, not so much!
 
If you happen to have something that sounds like a Christmas-y Motown track, that could be cool! But, please don’t limit yourself to just that style! We’ve just noticed that style lands in a lot of films.
 
TAXI Tip: Contemporary or Classic old-school versions could work, but we’d recommend avoiding anything that’s down-tempo or too “sappy.” Fun or light-hearted Christmas-y stuff is probably the smarter way to go!
 
The movie is a comedy with a whole bunch of big stars in it, so imagine what type of instrumentals could be used in the context of scenes with people at an ice skating rink or cruising a mall in the days leading up to Christmas. What could play in the background as the family starts opening presents?
 
They’re mostly using songs for this film, but they are also interested in hearing instrumentals as well! Having some sleigh bells, glockenspiel, or tubular bells is a good idea, but don’t go overboard. Too much of a good thing is usually not a great idea. Material that sounds stiff, synthetic, or obviously MIDI-driven won’t work for this pitch.
 
Instrumentals should be between 2:30 and 5:00 minutes long, give or take. Non-Faded/Buttoned endings will likely work best, but that’s not an absolute must. Genre and era-appropriate Broadcast Quality is needed.
 
Note: Our A&R staff will be judging submissions for this by asking themselves: “Does this sound well-crafted for its style? Is it Christmas-y and catchy without being sickeningly sappy? Does this sound like something that would play well in the background of several types of scenes? Does this have something a little bit special about it that makes it better than the gazillion other Christmas Instrumentals that are already out there?”
 
The estimated license fee is (up to) $3,000, depending on the ultimate placement. This Library offers a NON-EXCLUSIVE, 50/50 split. You’ll get 50% of any applicable sync fees and 100% of the Writer’s share. The Publisher will get 50% of the sync fee and 100% of the Publishing. You must own or control 100% of the Master and Copyright to submit to this pitch. Please submit one to three Instrumentals online or per CD. All submissions will be screened on a Yes/No basis. No full critiques. Submissions must be received no later than 11:59PM (PDT), on Sunday, August 13th, 2017. TAXI #D170813OC

[davekropf]

Hi Mike,

Thanks for posting! Here is some stream-of-consciousness feedback for ya!

• The opening feels a little mysterious, even spooky? It settles in at 0:18, though.
• Can that opening chime note be an octave up? Down that low its artificiality shines through
• I think your winds could benefit from more reverb. The feel pretty naked. especially the bassoon.
• Really nice boys choir work! Watch those changes, though. Since they have a long attack envelope, you should look at anticipating the note change which means it probably won't be perfectly quantized.
• Pizz strings sounds great! Nice part and nice arrangement!
• I feel there may be too many stops and starts. They sound like, what I call "fakie endings" where the tracks seems like it's over, but it keeps going on.
• Watch the pitch on that low timpani note at 2:43. I'd go up the octave there since it sounds pretty floppy.
• Maybe roll the highs off of the timp to have it sound more like softer felt mallets. It sounds a little edgy in general.
• In general this feels like underscore, and it may totally be what they're looking for! Could be good for a mall scene or opening presents.
• I could use some glockenspiel and triangle if not sleigh bells.
• Should it be a little peppier?
• Maybe a nice ritard at the end to help sell the final button.

I hope this helps! Obviously, I could be WAY off base, so take these thoughts with a healthy grain of salt.

[Len911]

Mike it sounds great! I'm just not sure it sounds Christmas, though Christmas is tough without words, unless it is well-known. It sounds more like a children's fantasy-land adventure to me?? The choir sounds don't help because they don't say anything and it's like I should already recognize the song.

There is one instrument that says Christmas though, lol, sleigh bells! Here is an interesting article on them
http://www.dawsons.co.uk/blog/history-s ... ells-music

*I just noticed that this is for a specific movie, and they are only looking for instrumentals, and it's a comedy. Ugh,

[mikehamm123]

Hi Mike,

Thanks for posting! Here is some stream-of-consciousness feedback for ya!

No, this is fantastic, and much appreciated.

Some comments on your comments:

I went for the edgy, spooky sound (in fact originally there was more of it) because I think, for kids, Christmas is a supernatural event. Somehow the rules change during Christmas. Magic and mystery. Anticipation.

The chime was supposed to be a church bell, but yeah it sounds fakey.

I hear you about adding reverb to winds/fixing the timpani. I really should have sat on this and digested the mix for extra time but the deadline hit. Mixing is I think what I need to lean the most about.

As for the stops and starts—this piece evolved from last year, from a tv commercial submission. I re-ordered some sections so it is episodic. This actually could be split into two separate pieces, each made more cohesive.

I guess my own main takeaway is that my use of samples isn’t up to par, as well as my mix.

[mikehamm123]

Mike it sounds great! I'm just not sure it sounds Christmas, though Christmas is tough without words

Thanks Len.

I went with celeste and bells and harps and stuff... going mostly for festive. Couldn't get sleigh bells to sound right, and Taxi usually says not to overuse them.

I don't have a choir library that does syllables exactly... anyway this was originally a TV commercial underscore submission.