Ears please!!

[3Chords]

I write songs. I don't care about their commercial potential, and I'm sure the songs don't either.
Just let me know if they move you.
Blessings and Balance,
Ernest

https://www.reverbnation.com/ernestwhal ... me-5-15-17

[nicotina]

Ernest,

I won't talk about commercial potential, but about how the song moves me and how it could move me more. I like the world- weary voice and the vibe, and I think the "Fall down off the Mountain" part sounds like a good prechorus, with "blind eyes start to see" would be a good chorus? Those are the catchy parts. So I would prefer if you tightened up the song and got to that chorus faster. The "selling apples" part with the harmony is good, but that could come later- maybe that's the bridge?

Nothing to do with commercial, but the folk singer who moved me the most in concert was Dougie McLean. His songs are tight- full of philisophical reflections like yours, but he knows how to get to the chorus fast, and repeat it, so you can sing along and get it stuck in your head. I think that's what you could do to make your song move people more.

just one guy's opinion ,

Vince