Fly On The Wall ( new song ) looking for alas

[songmaster]

Hey everyone. I am looking for alas for this strange little tune I wrote.It was produced by Drew Middleton and sung by Josh. I'm not sure what genre it fits or who it might sound like.I wrote it for film and TV and this is not quite the song style I usually write, but I like to try new things. The song is " Fly On The Wall " and is on my Taxi page and soundcloud. Lyrics below. Thanks in advance.

https://soundcloud.com/songmaster-user533365712

Fly On The Wall ( Drew Middleton )

I don't really understand
I thought we had evolved
But I stumbled on your plans
I was a fly on the wall

I guess you thought you were sharp
I guess you think I'm dull
You crave new blood in your heart
I was a fly on the wall

Traces of strange perfume
Whispers and midnight calls
Secrets and motel rooms
I was a fly on the wall
On the wall

Wish I could purge my eyes
Can nothing break our fall
Wish I could turn back time
But I was a fly on the wall.

[johnlewitt]

Great tune and production. It really sets a mood and I think it is very licensable.

There are two things you need to address though, one small, one big.

1) On the first 'fly on the wall', scoop some bass out of the vocal. It jumped out at me as not fitting in perfectly.

2) You need to minimize the guitar squeaks that are all over. Automate the EQ and volume. I had a song returned to me where the reviewer basically said, 'this is perfect for what they are looking for, except they won't use it because of the guitar squeaks.'

Good luck with it Tom.

[marcblack30]

Seems to be along the lines of "Say Something" by A Great Big World. I like your's better:)

[funsongs]

Your Soundcloud version DOES state that it's a DEMO; so my comment is with this as a W.I.P. in mind -
the big 'drop' with the synth stuff coming in @ :37 feels a bit jerky, and not a clean way of bringing that in; like a bad edit point or something.
But - I reckon you'll get all the bugs out before you go to final.
I'm wondering how well the song would stand up with less "big stuff" going on... seems it could be distracting more than it's adding.
Just a thought.
Sorry I can't answer your a la request, though. Others seem to have a handle on that.

[songmaster]

Thanks John for your comments. I will check out the guitar squeaks and bass in the voice.

Also Marc, I will check out " Say Something " by A Great Big World. I'm glad you like mine better Now I really want to hear thiers!

Hi Peter, I actually asked Drew to bring down the background music because the voice was not cutting through. So I think he brought the voice up and left the music at the same level. I can see what you mean, maybe even just a guitar vocal, might also have worked for this song.

Cheers

Tom