Retro pop lyrics: too wordy?

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mwb2
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Retro pop lyrics: too wordy?

Post by mwb2 » Tue Jun 11, 2019 7:10 am

Hi all,

I'm working hard on making my lyrics more memorable, less wordy, and conceptually simpler. Would love thoughts on the following! I'm finding it hard to be both simple and clear - my simple things tend to lack concrete details, and my clear things tend to have too much going on. Thanks!

VERSE 1
Another Friday night and I know you’ll be there
Too many flashing lights, gotta take a breather

There’s something in my chest
Fear and something else
Feel it burning me right there
But I can’t play it safe
No more time to wait
Cause I see that you’re right there
But I won’t be right there, right there

CHORUS
Cause unless I can tell you the words that I can’t get perfect
Stop obsessing ‘bout getting things wrong and just find the courage
Then I’ll never get my shot
So I can’t pretend I’m something I’m not
Cause I’m messy in love but I know it’s worth it
(Cause it’s messy to love…)

VERSE 2
I said it all before to the bathroom mirror
But all those practice lines didn’t make things clearer

There’s something in my chest
Fear and something else
Feel it burning me right there
And I can't play it safe
I'm not gonna wait
Cause I see that you're right there
I wanna be right there, right there

REPEAT CHORUS

INVENT A BRIDGE SOMEDAY

FINAL CHORUS

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