Patriotic song collaboration in progress - preview

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Patriotic song collaboration in progress - preview

Post by funsongs » Tue Jul 16, 2019 5:49 pm

From the Collaboration Corner June 18th, to this, so far: as this is only a rough worktape, only asking for overall song connection & review, please.
My collaborators would like to have this produced in the best licensable manner/genre. What would that be?
I Am An American
https://soundcloud.com/funsongs-1/i-am- ... mo/s-fYoms

concept and lyrics by Irwin Abrigo; co-write & music by Peter Rahill
collaboration with Jay Williams
instruments & scratch vocals worktape produced by Peter Rahill

Chorus/Verse 1)
I am an American, in the country I call home
An American citizen, in the land freedom was born
My heart I surrender, by giving her the best of me
I am an American, where I'm proud and I am free
Verse 2)
In God we trust to bless this land from the mountains to her shores
People from every walk of life find the peace they're longing for
A place where liberty reigns supreme
From every country, to live their dream - to live their dream
repeat Chorus
Bridge)
Let us bravely sing our nation's song and love one another
And may God forever bless this land, and keep our country strong
repeat Chorus
Ending)
We are Americans - the red, white, and blue
American citizens in the land where dreams come true
Our hearts, we surrender, by giving to her our best
America, The Beautiful - where we're proud, and we are blessed
Tag)
America - she's the best
America - she's the best
Peter Rahill
website: www.peterrahill.com
https://soundcloud.com/funsongs-1
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Re: Patriotic song collaboration in progress - preview

Post by jaywilliams » Tue Jul 16, 2019 6:01 pm

Hey Peter thanks for posting this.

Yep, so basically what's happened here is a song landed in my lap, I immediately heard it as a Country song, and after a bit of back and forth with Peter taking the lead and Irwin Abrigo co-writing, this is where we are.

Peter will be developing this further for a more professional sound, we're trying to figure out which way to steer the track.

Country?
Traditional Country?
New Country?
Americana?
Bluegrass?

'cmon Taxi family help us out, what are you hearing?

if this were your song how would you finish it out from here?

Thank you!

Jay :)
see you at the top!

James Hagarty, Producer
Jay Williams Productions
Web: jaywilliamsproductions.com
Songtradr: jay.williams.productions
SoundCloud: jay-williams-productions

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Re: Patriotic song collaboration in progress - preview

Post by gregorym » Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:14 pm

Country is kind of foreign to me. So take what I'm saying with a grain of salt. With that said, I hear it as traditional country. Do you have access to a pedal steel guitar( and the player to play it)? I think that would sound incredible in this song. The piano, guitar and vocals are spot on for me. I'm impressed that this isn't the final cut.

Also, I was reading the lyrics. I thought it odd that "and I am free" in the Chorus/Verse 1 it goes to a minor chord the first time. Why? I'm sure you had a reason. Please explain.

Awesome work guys.

Have a good one,
Greg

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Re: Patriotic song collaboration in progress - preview

Post by funsongs » Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:54 pm

gregorym wrote:
Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:14 pm
Country is kind of foreign to me. So take what I'm saying with a grain of salt. With that said, I hear it as traditional country. Do you have access to a pedal steel guitar( and the player to play it)? I think that would sound incredible in this song. The piano, guitar and vocals are spot on for me. I'm impressed that this isn't the final cut.

Also, I was reading the lyrics. I thought it odd that "and I am free" in the Chorus/Verse 1 it goes to a minor chord the first time. Why? I'm sure you had a reason. Please explain.

Awesome work guys.

Have a good one,
Greg
Hi Greg - thanks for the listen, comments, and question.
1) absolutely YES - i have some great pedal-steel players on my first-call list; that's an easy one.
2) since it did begin with that Country sound in mind, it's good to read that bit of confirmation from you.
3) not withstanding your kind comments on the scratch track - believe me: they're far from studio-quality... but I'm smiling that I faked it to your satisfaction.
(no Seinfeld pun intended);
4) the minor is the 'set-up' chord... to distinguish it, as - NOT AN ENDING... but leading into the next thing.

Hope that helps.
Thanks, again, for taking time to review & respond.
Cheers!
Peter Rahill
website: www.peterrahill.com
https://soundcloud.com/funsongs-1
You Tube channel: Peter Rahill - funsongs
https://taxi.com/peterrahill
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Re: Patriotic song collaboration in progress - preview

Post by gregorym » Wed Jul 17, 2019 9:43 am

funsongs wrote:
Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:54 pm
Hi Greg - thanks for the listen, comments, and question.
1) absolutely YES - i have some great pedal-steel players on my first-call list; that's an easy one.
2) since it did begin with that Country sound in mind, it's good to read that bit of confirmation from you.
3) not withstanding your kind comments on the scratch track - believe me: they're far from studio-quality... but I'm smiling that I faked it to your satisfaction.
(no Seinfeld pun intended);
4) the minor is the 'set-up' chord... to distinguish it, as - NOT AN ENDING... but leading into the next thing.

Hope that helps.
Thanks, again, for taking time to review & respond.
Cheers!
Cool. I can't wait to hear what you do with this.

Have a great day,
Greg

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Re: Patriotic song collaboration in progress - preview

Post by CTWF » Wed Jul 17, 2019 11:34 am

Hey guys

Great track, and in my opinion not political (which possibly is a good thing). I also see it as classic country, hard to see how to put too much of a modern spin on it. For uses of it, I could see it in a documentary, maybe even something on local TV etc. Could be the background for quite a few things really, from reality TV (following people to their 4th of July picnic) to a documentary on the Revolutionary War antiques, you name it.

Tom (the German in a family with 3 more Americans... :mrgreen: [depending on how you count])
https://soundcloud.com/ctwf My sh1t is straight FIRE! d;-o

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Re: Patriotic song collaboration in progress - preview

Post by funsongs » Wed Jul 17, 2019 1:45 pm

CTWF wrote:
Wed Jul 17, 2019 11:34 am
Hey guys

Great track, and in my opinion not political (which possibly is a good thing). I also see it as classic country, hard to see how to put too much of a modern spin on it. For uses of it, I could see it in a documentary, maybe even something on local TV etc. Could be the background for quite a few things really, from reality TV (following people to their 4th of July picnic) to a documentary on the Revolutionary War antiques, you name it.

Tom (the German in a family with 3 more Americans... :mrgreen: [depending on how you count])
:P ... good stuff, thanks, Tom. Danke.
Cheers. er, uh... Prost!
Peter Rahill
website: www.peterrahill.com
https://soundcloud.com/funsongs-1
You Tube channel: Peter Rahill - funsongs
https://taxi.com/peterrahill
“The future aint what it use to be.” - Yogi Berra

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Re: Patriotic song collaboration in progress - preview

Post by JohnnyP » Sun Jul 21, 2019 9:53 am

Hi Peter.
I agree with the other posts about it sounding Traditional Country, although I don't know that I've seen many of those listings lately. I may have missed them? I was curious if you and your co-writers had thought about having this song produced more Americana with a folkier sound? It might be be more licensable. Just a thought, nice work. best, John
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Re: Patriotic song collaboration in progress - preview

Post by funsongs » Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:35 am

JohnnyP wrote:
Sun Jul 21, 2019 9:53 am
Hi Peter.
I agree with the other posts about it sounding Traditional Country, although I don't know that I've seen many of those listings lately. I may have missed them? I was curious if you and your co-writers had thought about having this song produced more Americana with a folkier sound? It might be be more licensable. Just a thought, nice work. best, John
Thanks, John; I appreciate the feedback.
Since posting this, it's also been made clear that the Tag needs to be punchier lyrically - and I'm inclined to default to my usual method of ending with the title/hook.
As far as I know, we're proceeding with this to fulfill the wishes of the collaborators to make the concept into a viable song.
Hopefully it will be ready and waiting, in its best form, for such an opportunity or artist.

Thanks to everyone who's taken time to listen & critique. :P
Cheers
Peter Rahill
website: www.peterrahill.com
https://soundcloud.com/funsongs-1
You Tube channel: Peter Rahill - funsongs
https://taxi.com/peterrahill
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Re: Patriotic song collaboration in progress - preview

Post by DannyWeber » Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:47 pm

Hi Peter,

I liked the first version.. where you used the minor chord at the end of every chorus. Just makes more sense to me IMHO. Maybe use the major at the end when you use the phrase.. "and we are blessed".

To me, that would sound more resolute.

Just my 2 cents,

Dan
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