I Am An American

[irwin]

I finally have a recording of my song. So I am asking to please have a listen guys and gave a fair and honest critique. (Do appreciate all the help over the years).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IcfYUgqibE

I Am An American
©2022 Irwin Abrigo

In God we trust
And to bless this land From California
To Atlanta see the beauty in our capital
Washington DC

People come here from all walks of life
From islands and countries to see their dream
Land they've been Hearing about for so long
And I'm so proud to be

Am an American
I am an American
Proud to be
Am an American
The country I'm from
Am an American
Am an American
I am an American

In the White House
Sits our president must be honest
And sincere for the future of our children
In the coming years

From dawn to dusk we all work hard
Traveling from state to state we all are
One big family here in the United States
And I'm so proud to say

Am an American
I am an American
Proud to be
Am an American
The country I'm come from
Am an American
Am an American
I am an American

We have champions with victories
We have music with sweet melodies
Many people of different races
And I know I'm not in a dream
Everything I see is real
We have factories and industries
The statue of liberty
I see beauty in so many faces
And anywhere I go in this world
I'm so proud I'm so proud
To tell anyone
I'm so proud to say

Am an American
I am an American
Proud to be
Am an American
The country I'm from
Am an American
Am an American
I am an American

And I'm so proud to be what I am
American Citizen

[cosmicdolphin]

You might be an American but doesn't automatically mean you are a musician Irwin.

What I hear is two completely mismatched tracks on top of each other. The singer seem to be singing an entirely different song to what the backing track suggests.

Whilst the singer seems as though she may have a pleasant voice, the backing track sounds like a complete mess. Everything is out of time and out of key with dated midi like sounds. It's about the level I would expect from a young child messing around on their first keyboard.

I don't know what you hear in your own head but I genuinely think you must have some form of Amusia.

[irwin]

You might be an American but doesn't automatically mean you are a musician Irwin.

What I hear is two completely mismatched tracks on top of each other. The singer seem to be singing an entirely different song to what the backing track suggests.

Whilst the singer seems as though she may have a pleasant voice, the backing track sounds like a complete mess. Everything is out of time and out of key with dated midi like sounds. It's about the level I would expect from a young child messing around on their first keyboard.

I don't know what you hear in your own head but I genuinely think you must have some form of Amusia.

Hi Mark, I played the music track in Ab, is that not the key of the song? and "Amusia" is a very strong word you've use here.

I am doing the best I can with what I have but at the same time I always welcome your input on my song creations. Didn't want to mess this track up but I read your comment and it seem like I've messed up again. I admit I am not a musician. You got that right.

Thanks for the reply

Irwin

[cosmicdolphin]

"Amusia" is a very strong word you've use here.

Yes but it's the only one I can think of that describes what I hear throughout a body of work from you over a period of several years.

If the music sounds " right " to you...then you're not hearing it how we hear it.

[irwin]

"Amusia" is a very strong word you've use here.

Yes but it's the only one I can think of that describes what I hear throughout a body of work from you over a period of several years.

If the music sounds " right " to you...then you're not hearing it how we hear it.

Okay let us reason, I have lyrics, song melody ideas right. These songs I post here so far their are not my best songs. Would you help out with the music or get someone else to help with the music If I do post my better songs?.

[Casey H]

Hey Irwin
Unfortunately all aspects of this are problematic. They lyrics are totally unmarketable as a song today unless there was an *extremely* narrow request somewhere, highly unlikely. The melody sounds like it was just something made to show the lyrics but isn't hook-y or interesting. And, as Mark said, the production is a mess (not saying that meanly).

What do you think your biggest strength is or what you want it to be? If it's lyrics, here is a challenge: Take a known popular song and write a totally new set of lyrics that sing to that melody. Don't say what song it came from. Can you put together something that would get a music writer/producer interested? Write about popular subjects like love, relationships, happiness, break-up, getting through hard times, etc.

If you feel your strength is melody, then this is the challenge: Just put on a drum loop beat. Forget all other production. Sing the melody with the beat. One verse and one chorus is enough.

One step at a time. Start with the basics. Have you read any songwriting books?

Best,
Casey

[irwin]

The melody sounds like it was just something made to show the lyrics

What do you think your biggest strength is or what you want it to be?

If you feel your strength is melody, then this is the challenge: Just put on a drum loop beat. Forget all other production. Sing the melody with the beat. One verse and one chorus is enough.

Have you read any songwriting books?

Best,
Casey

I must first say thank you for the reply and I'll answer direct to your lines.

My biggest strength and what I want it to be is in my "Lyrics"

I know I do poorly in creating perfect melodies, but like many other writers I have melody ideas going on in my head all the time.

I have read books yes! I am always interesting in bring my creative originality first for others to notice and not following in some other ones foot step.

Trying to keep my reply short. I know I need a musician/producer to work with but then again I ain't gonna sit around waiting. I am a doer (I am not a musician) so you see I have to play something to show case my songs.

Please don't feel sorry for me. I have de song.

Irwin

[Casey H]

The melody sounds like it was just something made to show the lyrics

What do you think your biggest strength is or what you want it to be?

If you feel your strength is melody, then this is the challenge: Just put on a drum loop beat. Forget all other production. Sing the melody with the beat. One verse and one chorus is enough.

Have you read any songwriting books?

Best,
Casey

My biggest strength and what I want it to be is in my "Lyrics"

Then I would love to see you do the challenge I suggested regarding writing new lyrics to a known song's melody and along one of the subjects mentioned. Then post those lyrics here. You want at least one verse and chorus. Can you do that?

Best,
Casey

[irwin]

[/quote]
Then I would love to see you do the challenge I suggested regarding writing new lyrics to a known song's melody and along one of the subjects mentioned. Then post those lyrics here. You want at least one verse and chorus. Can you do that?

Best,
Casey
[/quote]

Writing lyrics to music that's not the way I trained myself to write, it is the other way around, I am a songwriter (some may say I'm not) I come up with lyrics and melody (melody ideas) together on creating new songs, but if this challenge suggested by you for me qualifies someone to be a writer I am going to take it on.

I don't listen to much of other people's songs, it really has to be very good to my ears to get my attention. So if you name a song you want me to write to just bring it on.

[Casey H]

I don't listen to much of other people's songs, it really has to be very good to my ears to get my attention. So if you name a song you want me to write to just bring it on.

You can't succeed as a songwriter if you don't listen to other people's songs. The 2 things are mutually exclusive. Period. If you won't take the time to research the Billboard charts (it's all out there on the internet) and listen to a few songs (it can be ANY genre-- pop, rock, country, hip-hop, etc.), no one here can help you. Sorry.

Can you name a few popular songs you like? From any time period?

Casey