Expired listing #S230114BL SHOW-STOPPING, EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED POP/R&B/ADULT CONTEMPORARY POWER BALLADS with Female Vocal

[MJLeeman]

I didn't have anything prepared at the time of listing #S230114BL, which expired in January, but a couple of months later, I thought that I could adapt a new version of a previous song, even though of course it was too late to submit.

In the rewrite, I took aboard others' comments, and I also read about things to consider, particularly about structures, providing a hook early in the song, short intros, not overburdening the listener with detail in the lyrics, not being too concerned with rhyming, and applying these and other tips which I came across, to eventually come up with this track:

https://www.taxi.com/members/nwRU7pygQr ... -way-ahead.

I originally had included percussion tracks so as to be in keeping with the references, but I ended up not doing this because I believed that it distracted from the vocalist's performance, which I was very happy with. Anyway, I guess that it would be a relatively simple matter to add percussion/drums into the mix.

I would be grateful to receive advice, recommendations, etc to help me improve things.

Cheers
Michael


The expired listing is #S230114BL:

SHOW-STOPPING, EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED POP/R&B/ADULT CONTEMPORARY POWER BALLADS with Female Vocals are needed by a prominent Australia-based Production Company working on a Stand-Out Vocalist's break-out, debut Album!!

NOTE: This Company is BRAND NEW to requesting music from TAXI's members, so this is an awesome opportunity to work with a great new Artist and Company!

This Company is searching for Down-to-Mid-Tempo Songs with Female Vocals that could be found on a playlist with the references below:

"I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
https://youtu.be/3JWTaaS7LdU

"Never Enough" by Kelly Clarkson
https://youtu.be/ES9hM2fgyAA

"Someone Like You" by Adele
https://youtu.be/hLQl3WQQoQ0

"I'll Never Love Again" by Lady Gaga
https://youtu.be/fPgs3qq9CGs

We know that one of the references is a little dated, but imagine the attitude and vibe translated into today's production.

Please submit modern Pop/R&B/Adult Contemporary Power Ballads bursting with powerful emotions that could become a career-defining Song in this Artist's repertoire. Your submissions should have huge, soaring choruses, entrancing melodies, heartfelt-lyrics, and plenty of high notes that could steal the show! Your arrangements should have a modern, yet timeless sound and vibe, and can range stylistically – incorporating elements of Pop, R&B, Soul, and/or Adult Contemporary. Think an updated approach to songs like "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston, and give them that! Please be sure your production is polished and any virtual instruments you use are high-quality and current-sounding. Top your submissions off with super expressive, well-performed Female vocals and you could be well on your way to delivering what this Company and Artist need!

NOTE: This Vocalist has a very impressive range, so don't be afraid to give her something she can really belt and sing out!

Lyric Tip: Please avoid anything overtly sexual or profanity-laden for this request. Keep it classy, clean, and relatable!

TAXI Tip: Vocals can often be the thing that makes or breaks a Song pitch. Make sure that the vocals on your Songs are well-performed, compelling, and brimming with Soulful emotion if you want to get this Artist and Company excited about your tracks!

NOTE: The bar will be high for this request, so please send your very best! We know ballads can be a tough sell, but when a truly special one comes around, it can be life-changing for the artist and the songwriter.

High-quality demos and full productions are both okay to submit, as long as your Songs are great and your recordings are clean, clear, and well-balanced! Do NOT copy the references in any way, shape, or form. Use them only as a general guide for tempo, tone, texture, and overall vibe.

The specific deal points will be negotiated on a Song-by-Song basis directly with the Company. Please submit as many Songs as you’d like, online or per CD, and include lyrics. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI. Submissions must be received no later than 11:59 PM (PST) on Saturday, January 14th, 2023. TAXI # S230114BL

[MJLeeman]

Lyrics:

BETTER WAY AHEAD
[by Michael Joseph Leeman   c 2022/2023
Version 27 lyrics-Chapel Hill, Brisbane, March-24 April 2023]

Intro/hook
Better way ahead
(Ah-oh-ah-ah)

Verse 1 
Much to say 
Much too late
Now you're gone
Never told you
How you made me feel
In a real way now
You will always stay

Chorus
I lost your love 
'nd now I'm losing my mind
I won't run away
If you can show me
A better way ahead
(Ah-oh-ah-ah)

Verse 2
I lost it all when I tried not to be who I am 
You paid my price, became a broken man 
Survivin' crazy days until the end.....
That was when

Chorus
I lost your love 
And that's why I'm losing my mind
But I won't run away
If you can show me
A better way ahead
(Ah-oh-ah-ah)

Post chorus
Ahead [ad lib]
(Ah-oh-ah-ah-ah-ah)

Bridge
Lost your love 
Losin' my mind
I wouldn’t run away
From the better way 
Ahead... .... ah.... oh

Chorus
I lost your love 
And now I'm losing my mind
And I won't run away
I know you can't show me
A better way ahead
(Ah-oh-ah-ah)

Chorus
I lost your love 
When you ended all your pain
I won't run away 
Anybody please just show me

Outro
A better way ahead
(Ah-oh-ah-ah)
A better way ahead

[Casey H]

I agree with Graham that it sounds showtune-y. It's clearly not for a high bar pop/AC listing asking for a soaring chorus. I didn't even realize what you labeled "chorus" was one when listening, it sounded like another verse was coming.

It sounds it could be a wedding song (with more positive, loving lyrics). Was it repurposed from that? There are some libraries that specialize in songs for weddings, videography, etc. Taxi runs listings for them now and then and/or you could research that. But different lyrics would be needed (all about love and commitment, not the lost your love thing). You might need to tone down the vocal some, less gospel-y.

I didn't care for opening with your hook line as you did, I would start the vocal at the verse. It came off a bit jarring.

PS This doesn't mean it's not very pretty. It's just a matter of where it belongs.

Best,
Casey

[MJLeeman]

I'm a bit confused

I think its mainly because of the chord sequences, but I get more 'show tune' than 'show stopping', and I don't think it fits 'pop/R&B/AC power ballad' either. For an artist pitch like in the listing I'd say they'd be looking for something more 'hook-y' too, both musically and lyrically. Its not that the song is missing such things but it feels like its always getting there but never quite arrives at the epic killer moment(s) that everybody can't help singing along with. I also think that its still a bit 'wordy' in places where you could have left out joining words that get snatched, to let the lyric flow more easily and give the singer (and listeners singing along) a chance to breathe a bit. The artist listing said high-bar and the refs were all huge songs by huge artists, so the screeners would have been very picky, as would those looking for a career ballad to put a singer on the map forever, so I don't think this song would have been forwarded. For sync though, I think it is far more appropriate, although I still get 'show' tune' and I wouldn't put it in for a pop/R&B/ac listing, or even a power ballad. Just my thoughts though.

Thanks for pointing this out, Graham. I agree with your observations regarding the lack of a sufficiently 'hook-y' chorus, where it goes totally in another direction - more uplifting (?) perhaps. So I would definitely approach this with fresh material for that part of the song in future efforts. In particular, I am in favour of cutting back on syllables in the lyrics, as you allude to in your above comments, and this process for me should always result in changing the lyrics to suit the music, rather than vice versa.

Your comments have definitely clarified some things for me and confirmed some others.

Cheers
Michael

[MJLeeman]

It sounds it could be a wedding song (with more positive, loving lyrics). Was it repurposed from that? There are some libraries that specialize in songs for weddings, videography, etc. Taxi runs listings for them now and then and/or you could research that. But different lyrics would be needed (all about love and commitment, not the lost your love thing). You might need to tone down the vocal some, less gospel-y.

Best,
Casey

Strangely enough, the song was re-purposed/rewritten from what was originally a song titled 'Without a Word' about the loss of one's mother, so it was originally conceived as a funeral song. In the version which is the subject of the current post, I was looking to include the issue of suicide of a loved one and tried to drop the occasional hint in the lyrics without going into a narrative. Anyway, it seems that this indirect approach doesn't work in this genre. So I will account for this in any future similar songwriting attempts.

Thanks again for your comments, Casey.

I submitted the track for a custom Taxi critique, and this generally reiterates the gist of the comments of Casey and Graham TF above and makes some further observations. FWIW, here is the critique:-

https://www.taxi.com/members/nwRU7pygQr ... 3qKOaypEAA

Cheers
Michael

[Casey H]

This is an example of how great a Taxi custom critique is and for only $20! This screener did an incredible job. I don't think enough folks take advantage of these.

Kudos to you also, MJ, for taking the feedback like a pro.

Best,
Casey

[MJLeeman]

This is an example of how great a Taxi custom critique is and for only $20! This screener did an incredible job. I don't think enough folks take advantage of these.

Kudos to you also, MJ, for taking the feedback like a pro.

Best,
Casey

Thanks, Casey

For me, there are always many things to learn. So I keep seeking this. The Taxi forums and custom critiques have for me been extremely helpful in this respect sice I joined about 2 and a bit years ago. Great educational value for me.

Cheers
Michael