Need Objective Critique of Bluegrass Tune

[Stubee]

https://www.taxi.com/members/V2G7ZzSiTs ... ky-breeze

Hi, I originally submitted this for listing https://www.taxi.com/listings/S230512GR
The screener's feedback was that it needed to be more polished. The link above will bring you to the "polished" version.
I need an objective POV to let me know what work still needs to be done. I didn't use drums because I didn't think that
I could make them sound good. I'm not sure if drums are essential.
Lots of BLUEGRASS INSTRUMENTALS and/or INSTRUMENTAL CUES are needed by an International Music Library with lots of great placements in Film and TV.

This Library is searching for Mid-to-Up-Tempo Instrumentals (and/or Cues) in the general wheelhouse of the following examples we got directly from our contact at the firm:

“Sweet Marjorie” by Dusty Trales, Christopher Pandolfi, & Andrew Falco

“Gold Fever” by Dusty Trales, Christopher Pandolfi, & Andrew Falco

“Cotillion Waltz” by Dusty Trales, Christopher Pandolfi, & Andrew Falco

Please submit well-composed Bluegrass Instrumentals (and/or Cues) that could work well for a variety of TV and Film placements. Your submissions should have inviting motifs, feel-good rhythms, and top-notch arrangements in the general wheelhouse of the references. Contemporary Bluegrass instrumentation such as banjo, guitar, mandolin, dobro, bass, drums, etc. will work best for this pitch. Please be sure to craft your pieces around a central motif and layer instrumentation in and out as they progress to create dynamics, forward motion, and interest. Please be sure your production and any virtual sounds or samples you may choose to use are high-quality and realistic-sounding.

Your submissions should be roughly 90 Seconds (give or take) long for Cues, and about 2 to 4 minutes long for Instrumentals, give or take. Non-faded, buttoned/stinger endings will work best. Do NOT copy the referenced music in any way, shape, or form. Use it only as a general guide for tempo, texture, tone, and overall vibe.

[cosmicdolphin]

Your Link doesn't lead to the Listing, please paste the listing text into your post

[Stubee]

I just added the listing text to the post.

[funsongs]

TBH - having spent much time 'in the Bluegrass community' - the track misses the mark by a lot; sorry if that seems 'brutal'.

From personal observation (and personal preference): the classic Bluegrass 6-piece ensemble consists of a pretty full blend of
upright bass, acoustic guitar, banjo, fiddle, mandolin, and Dobro... played relaxed, but very 'tight'... with all playing together.

If you're gonna replicate a Bluegrass band sound - no need for solo stand-alone instruments. Let all the instruments blend together,
and the bring forward each instrument in the mix that you want to feature doing a 'solo' part.

Hope that helps.

[gitanosoy]

To add to Peter's comments I thing the guitar playing/strumming can be a little more tighter and polished. Some instruments are out of time.

[funsongs]

To add to Peter's comments I thing the guitar playing/strumming can be a little more tighter and polished. Some instruments are out of time.

And... even in all-acoustic ensemble recordings, it's never a bad idea to record each instrument to a click track/metronome - which you can delete later.
A bad spoons-player can spoil an otherwise lively jam.
Keep it fun.

[cosmicdolphin]

I'll leave the finer points of the genre to those who have more experience of it but suffice to say I hear all sorts of timing isssues and the whole thing sounds lilke it's been cobbled together from different samples or libraries rather than a cohesive organic piece of music.

[Stubee]

Thank you, everyone for the great feedback. I'll take another stab at it. I am using only real instruments and a click track. No midi involved. I just have to get more skilled, I guess.

[AlanHall]

I am using only real instruments and a click track. No midi involved.

Since that's the case, my suggestion would be to set up stereo mics in a nice live room, and then record each instrument while standing in a different position around the array. Getting all the players in the same acoustic space will go a long way to making the result authentic.

[Stubee]

Thank you, Alan. I'll give that a try.