Emotionally upbeat pop instrumentals - TAXI Dispatch # D230930NS

[MJLeeman]

I will be grateful to receive feedback, advice, etc. on a track which I have written in response to the listing referred to below.

Cheers,
Michael

Here is the link to the track:-
https://www.taxi.com/members/nwRU7pygQr ... om-nowhere

The listing:-

TAXI DISPATCH
Lots of EMOTIONALLY UPBEAT POP INSTRUMENTALS are needed by a Music Licensing Company that specializes in music for content creators, as well as TV shows and Film projects!

This Company is on the lookout for Mid-to-Up-Tempo Instrumentals in the general wheelhouse of the following references:

WARNING: The references may include graphic and explicit lyrics. Listener discretion is advised.

"Anxious" by Carly Rae Jepsen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkwdnWcYeqo

"Sacrifice" by The Weeknd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6zblNbGXA4

"Turn Off The Lights" by Ava Max
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unPsdoDsL5c

Although the references have vocals, please submit Instrumentals only for this request.

Quoting the Company: "For all tracks, modern productions are a must."

NOTE: The Company has requested to hear a cool, authentic, lead instrument in place of where the vocals would normally be. Adding a simple guitar or keyboard melody to your arrangements is recommended! It's often best to do what we call "melody-lite," so your lead instruments don't sound like 101 Strings or elevator music versions where the lead instrument does the full melody that would normally be done vocally.

Please send in well-crafted, modern Pop Instrumentals bursting with feel-good, emotionally upbeat energy! Catchy, soulful motifs, engaging grooves, and dynamic arrangements with lots of forward motion and interest are all musts for this pitch. Current-sounding Pop instrumentation that's in the general ballpark of the references will work best. Please make sure your productions are polished, and any virtual instruments or samples you use are high quality and not dated-sounding . If you have tracks that could be heard on a playlist with the references, send them in!

Your submissions should be at least 2 minutes in length and no longer than 4 minutes. Non-faded, buttoned/stinger endings will work best for this request. Do NOT copy the referenced material in any way, shape, or form. Use the references only as a guide for tempo, tone, and overall vibe. Do NOT submit any material with unauthorized samples of any other artists’ music, sounds, or any other form of media. Broadcast Quality is needed.

This company offers an EXCLUSIVE deal. The specific deal points will be handled on a case-by-case basis. Please don’t submit material that’s already signed with other libraries or publishers for this pitch. You must own or control your Masters and Compositions to submit to this opportunity. Please submit as many Instrumentals as you’d like, online or per CD. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI. Submissions must be received no later than 11:59 PM (PDT) on Saturday, September 30th, 2023. TAXI Dispatch # D230930NS

[cosmicdolphin]

LIstened through the refs , generally enjoyed them although the Ava track was a little boring.

A few thoughts on you tracl:

Cool beat - on target

The bass part..not really feeling it so much..I think what it plays is fine but they it sounds is a bit midi sounding. It's not terrible but sort of bordering on cheesy dated vibe. I think you neeed to improve on that sound and make much more of a feature of it. Layer it with something else , throw some distortion on it - I tend to like Scarbee Rickenback on this type of thing if you have it but it needs to be more of a signature part for me to give the track a lift.

After a while the track gets a bit relelentless , there's no pause or breakdowns - I feel with the bass part it needs to not play for a couple of notes near the end each turnaround just so we get a little break and can listen to something different

The backing sounds all seem pretty cool but I'd like to hear something following the chords or maybe the root at least in the lower mids - it seems a bit sparse down there

I was waiting for more of a hook and one never really came , I also felt there was no real "chorus" it was more like one big long A section for a lot of the time.

So overall the vibe is in the gernal ballpark, the production & arrangement needs to come up a couple of notches and it's a bit too repetitive after a while with no hooks to get us wanting to keep listening. I suspect this is a song you've taken the vocal off which would kinda make sense.

Mark

[AlanHall]

I listened and formed a critique before reading Mark's comments, but yeah: what he said. It's a good track, worth some extra work.
The bass is a little too clean. some saturation might take it to the right place. But also it sounded to me that the upper range of that instrument wasn't authentic. Take the whole thing down a few steps to keep the bass in its "growl-y" register?
I was expecting a "lead" type of voice to come in, but I never heard it. With simply some single line instruments doubling the melody notes, the interest level would increase. A little more attention to the orchestration, layering, I think will help.

[MJLeeman]

Thanks, Mark and Alan for your instructive and insightful feedback and comments. I have tried to incorporate your suggestions into the below link to the updated track.

I might say that I got a bit jaded working on the original arrangement, and I felt that I had sort of reached a dead end with it, so I appreciate having some other pairs of ears so as to get me back on task. After taking a break for a day or so, to give my ears a rest, I could see how your suggestions made sense; so thanks for that.

Regarding Mark's comment that this music may be a song with the vocal taken off, actually FWIW the reverse is true, and it was only after finally coming up with a top line while writing the track, that I thought that it might possibly be the basis for a song.

Anyway, here is an update, and I'll attempt to do a better mix over this coming week-end.

https://www.taxi.com/members/nwRU7pygQr ... re_revised

Cheers
Michael

[cosmicdolphin]

I think that's an improvement but I'm still having trouble figuring out where the A section ( Verse ) ends and the B section ( Chorus ) begins - What we term sectional contrast. So it winds up more ' Going Nowhere ' than ' Back from Nowhere'

You need something to signal the end of a section and transition into a new one that's distinct enough to feel like we've moved on . I think the B section is at 32s so somewhere around 28-30s we need to be adding transitional elements which could be a little riser or a drum fill or a little bass turnaround or possibly all three . You could also stop the drums for short period and then come back in with a drum pickup. Then transition FX into your B section like a maybe a short rise followed by a cymbal crash for example. Go through the ref tracks and write down what they do as they tranistion between sections.

The section from 32s sounds too similar to what came before - I can hear a shaker which helps but the lead is a bit samey without a strong hook and there is nothing else really going on. Have a listen to the different between the sections on the Carly Rae Jepsen track ..there's a new guitar part and bright sythny pads and new percussion plus a vocal delay...quite a lot of changes.

[MJLeeman]

I think that's an improvement but I'm still having trouble figuring out where the A section ( Verse ) ends and the B section ( Chorus ) begins - What we term sectional contrast. So it winds up more ' Going Nowhere ' than ' Back from Nowhere'

You need something to signal the end of a section and transition into a new one that's distinct enough to feel like we've moved on . I think the B section is at 32s so somewhere around 28-30s we need to be adding transitional elements which could be a little riser or a drum fill or a little bass turnaround or possibly all three . You could also stop the drums for short period and then come back in with a drum pickup. Then transition FX into your B section like a maybe a short rise followed by a cymbal crash for example. Go through the ref tracks and write down what they do as they tranistion between sections.

The section from 32s sounds too similar to what came before - I can hear a shaker which helps but the lead is a bit samey without a strong hook and there is nothing else really going on. Have a listen to the different between the sections on the Carly Rae Jepsen track ..there's a new guitar part and bright sythny pads and new percussion plus a vocal delay...quite a lot of changes.

In light of Mark's comments above, I have revised the track.

Here's an update, and I hope that it is an improvement. The Weeknd reference track for me has a bassline/riff which opens the song, then is played pretty much solo under the first verse melody, basically without any harmony. Then the same riff appears in other sections in the track, with different chords and/or melodies. It was as though the writer of that track was trying to use the same bassline in the various sections of the song, where different melodies and the introduction of chord patterns gave some contrast/variety between the sections, with the repeated riff providing musical unity. I was originally trying to emulate this general idea (with limited success), and this maybe led to Mark's previous comments basically about the lack of contrast between the verse and chorus of my original track. In the revision, I feel that I have partly abandoned my initial approach as described above, so that the updated version below leans more towards a traditional approach in having completely distinct sections.

https://www.taxi.com/members/nwRU7pygQr ... e-revision

Chhers
Michael

[cosmicdolphin]

Much better contrast now when it goes to the B section, when it comes out of it however around 55's you need to smooth out that transition back to the A section...think of it an an off ramp ..give us a smooth ride

[MJLeeman]

Much better contrast now when it goes to the B section, when it comes out of it however around 55's you need to smooth out that transition back to the A section...think of it an an off ramp ..give us a smooth ride

Thanks for your input, Mark. Very much appreciated.

Here is an update, which I think might still need some tweaking, but is hopefully almost there.

https://www.taxi.com/members/nwRU7pygQr ... ised-again

Cheers
Michael

[cosmicdolphin]

That's an improvement coming out of the B Section now.

I keep thinking I hear bass notes in the chorus that are a bit dissonant, so you might wanna juse check everything is harmonically matching thoughout

[MJLeeman]

That's an improvement coming out of the B Section now.

I keep thinking I hear bass notes in the chorus that are a bit dissonant, so you might wanna juse check everything is harmonically matching thoughout

I checked and I can confirm that the bassline is as intended.

I tweaked a few things and then did a final mix and master as per the link below. Many thanks for the tips, which I think have all helped me improve on my initial effort,and for that I'm grateful.

https://www.taxi.com/members/nwRU7pygQr ... here_final

Cheers
Michael