Kitschy 60's sitcom listing rejected ?

[GregD]

Hi All,
Sitcom Alley was submitted for the Kitschy 60's listing that imitated I dream of Jeannine, Bewitched etc. I would appreciate opinions/feedback. (TAXI Dispatch # D231214KS)
The submission: https://www.taxi.com/members/7o9Y5Kn_SQ ... tcom-alley

Return info:
What I like most about this song
Fun, quirky and playful mood. Good driving energy and festive vibes.
I think you could improve this song by
The virtual sounds are a bit too stiff and not quite organic sounding enough. Consider revamping. The band as a whole could also be tighter and more in the pocket.
I returned or forwarded this song because
Instrumentation feels stiff and the rhythm section could be more in the pocket.

Do you think it feels stiff? When they say more in the pocket, are they referring to tighter panning of the drums?
This is like a puzzle game to know the Gatekeeper's mind, except a lot of work goes into it.
Thanks in advance for taking the time to help a newbie gamer.
Gregd

[Casey H]

Hey Greg
Telefunkin covered it well. Regarding his "let it breathe" comment, one of the things I noticed is yours is very busy, doesn't focus enough on the main melody. When you listen to those sitcom themes, you walk away with the melody in your head. Google those sitcom themes and it should be apparent.

Best,
Casey

[Paulie]

This is a fun track, lots going on, I'm sure you put a lot of effort into all of the various parts that are involved. I've got a lot of specific feedback.

For me, this track does not put me in the 60s at all. The bass patch sounds like an analog synth, where all of the references used an upright bass, and the bass in the references is much further back in the mix. The lead piano stack is too modern, sounds like a piano with a D50-ish airy bottle patch underneath. The chord progression is not really in the genre, it's more of a I to IV theme. Also, watch out for some conflicts: to my ear the bass moving from F to A then Bb (first example is at 0:13) seems to conflict with the chords, making the Bb chord sound wrong, or making the bass sound wrong. So be sure to make sure bass and chords are lining up properly (I bet you will see the conflict between bass and piano if you open both tracks into piano scroll mode).

The melody at the beginning is too syncopated, too soon, and the intro is a little "confusing" for lack of a better word. It starts out fine, then the rhythm gets weird, sounds like the music stumbles. Melodically, try starting with a more simple, repeatable motif then develop it. All of the references have memorable, singable melodies. I wouldn't have the piano doubling the melody so often, let each lead instrument shine on their own.

The horn/woodwind patches are not good enough for today's expectations, they are obviously MIDI, the brass patches are particularly weak. (I'm a horn player) Stylistically the music doesn't match any of the references, which all have a jazzy or Latin feel to them. They were all recorded in big rooms, you can hear the reverb and overall ensemble sound (not just on individual instruments).

A valiant effort for sure! The bar is really high these days, even as a jazz musician with real horns, I didn't bother with this listing due to the quality of the references and the expectations needed to get a forward for something like this. Keep working at it!

[GregD]

It's nice that you all put some thought into your feedback. It's appreciated.
Gregd