Does my track sound too artifical?

[JayJayStudios]

As you guessed, played it with my keyboard and used MIDI instruments/plugins for it, as most of you do as well probably.

https://www.taxi.com/members/y2sIT2nVRF ... imba-suite

does it sound to sterile? It is for this listing here:
https://www.taxi.com/industry#listing-S240724PC

[AlanHall]

JM2C - the stereo spread at the beginning is a bit distracting, and screams "synth". I'd narrow the spread and place each instrument in a space that sounds more acoustic/real. Not to say the wide stereo isn't great ear candy!
From a compositional standpoint, I LOVED the first 20 seconds. After that, it seemed to wander a bit and I got confused about where it was taking me. I've listened to the refs, and IIRC they use a (typical for sync) technique of layering to keep it interesting and moving forward. If I had 20 sec of great material*, I would try to extract a couple parts out of it, and begin looping/layering the lines in different voices to get an interesting cue of the correct length.

*and I'm hoping to get 20 sec of great material recorded into my DAW at least once in the next few days

[JayJayStudios]

JM2C - the stereo spread at the beginning is a bit distracting, and screams "synth". I'd narrow the spread and place each instrument in a space that sounds more acoustic/real. Not to say the wide stereo isn't great ear candy!
From a compositional standpoint, I LOVED the first 20 seconds. After that, it seemed to wander a bit and I got confused about where it was taking me. I've listened to the refs, and IIRC they use a (typical for sync) technique of layering to keep it interesting and moving forward. If I had 20 sec of great material*, I would try to extract a couple parts out of it, and begin looping/layering the lines in different voices to get an interesting cue of the correct length.

*and I'm hoping to get 20 sec of great material recorded into my DAW at least once in the next few days

great feedback!
thanks Alan!

yeah definitely all valid points. I could rest some more on the initial idea and layer it with more instruments and building onward tensions etc.
The section changes are maybe a bit to polyrhythmic hehe.