Smooth Easy Listening Jazz Returns 0/2

[mteezykeys]

Reference Tracks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfOSNyRljys
https://youtu.be/o95d4hyF33o?si=2OrsAWx-PlO-W17c
https://youtu.be/l6WoFFYZCvo?si=6VnCmhwBgPf7Hemx

My Tracks
https://s.disco.ac/ptqgwrdbptsk

"So Soulful" Feedback

What I like most about this song
Hi Michael,
I like the performance of the Rhodes and the solo on instrumental.

I think you could improve this song by
This has a nice foundation, although, the sampled based sax and the consistency of the programmed phrasing has less of an organic feel/character of sound. For this request, try an alt-arrangement and replace the programmed sax with an organic performance to get closer to the request.

I returned or forwarded this song because
The track has a nice modern foundation, although it could benefit from a revision in the arrangement/instrumentation to get closer to the desired Modern mid to downtempo “Smooth/Easy-Listening Jazz” character style of arrangement/instrumentation/production sound as requested and referenced in the listing.

"Cognac Feedback"

What I like most about this song
Hi Michael,
I like the percussion foundation and the use of the Rhodes on this instrumental.

I think you could improve this song by
This is nice, although, the sampled based sax and the consistency of the programmed phrasing has less of an organic feel. For this request, try an alt-arrangement and replace the programmed sax with an organic performance to get closer to the request.

I returned or forwarded this song because
The track has a good foundation, although, it could benefit from a revision in the arrangement/instrumentation to get closer to the desired Modern mid to downtempo “Smooth/Easy-Listening Jazz” character style of arrangement/instrumentation/production sound as requested and referenced in the listing.

I performed the saxophones live and used Melodyne to tune them. I think I may have thrown some chorus and a phaser on at one point as a sfx, but didn't think it was enough to make it sound fake or sampled.
Any thoughts?

[RealPickle]

Hi again Mike,

It's a shame about the saxophone because otherwise these are really nice tracks. And to be honest, I thought the sax on So Soulful sounds way way better--to the point that I disagree with the screener on that one. It sounds pretty real to me.

If I could offer one suggestion it would be to try and vary your articulation and vibrato. Your sound is really consistent, but it's so steady that I can see it coming across as a tiny bit fake. Any sort of idiomatic articulation variety (which could include some strategic grace notes, pitch bending, etc) and putting vibrato on some of the longer notes, would real it up enough to work just fine. Also dynamic variance. To my ear all the notes are one volume throughout, which makes it sound much more midi than it would otherwise. (I say all this still thinking it sounds pretty good and real to me)

Same goes for Cognac, except this is clearly the one you put more fx on because it sounds much more synthetic to me. Same issues--lack of variation in articulation/phrasing/vibrato/dynamics plus a timbre that doesn't sound organic at all. Whatever you did to produce your sax on So Soulful, just do that from now on.

Tough luck man, these are nice tracks and the rhodes playing is really good.