Question: Should I sing at my wedding?

[vickye]

I just read the posts...you guys crack me up. Thanks for taking the time to post your thoughts.V

[Casey H]

Well, you could sing at MY wedding... Although... I'm already married.... but the sentiment's the same.... Casey

[Mark Kaufman]

Hi Vicky. Here's a curveball for you...is it your day? Or is it yours and your husband's day?My gut tells me you should not...based on your fiance's comment of it not being a gig. My experience in performance is that all the attention goes to the performer...so only you would know the real answer of how your husband-to-be will feel about you singing a song "for" him. If it was me, I'd rather have you by my side, listening to your song being sung by someone else. That way, you wouldn't be thinking about your gig on that of all days.Food for thought, keep or sweep. Congratulations!

[tedsingingfox]

Hey, V.I know this probably won't help, but...I can't stop myself from remembering a 10-second clip I saw on the news (or on ET or one of those pitiful shows, as I was flipping channels...probably one of the reasons I don't watch TV anymore...) years ago.It was the "new & improved", grotesque, post-face-lift Kenny Rogers...getting married for the fourth or fifth(?) time...and singing during the ceremony. He never even looked at his bride, but sang to the wedding guests and pointed in the general direction of her. And if he had, he would have seen the most painfully-FORCED, plastic grin on her face. I actually found myself shouting out loud (yelling at him through the TV)..."This is your wedding, you dick head. Not the Kenny Rogers' show."Honey, if your husband has begged you to sing FOR him during the celebration...then go for it.Otherwise, I'm going to have to agree with Mark. This day is for BOTH of you.I'm ALL for y'all playing the song (on disc) during the reception, but that's the wrong day to have hidden hurt feelings or resentments. You already WILL be, just by the organic nature of the event, the center of attention. Maybe better not to pull any of the light away from your betrothed.And FWIW, this is the same decision I had to make during my own "Celebration of Love". I chose NOT to sing.Means ABSOLUTELY nothing more than my $.02...congrats on getting married, BTW.Ted

[hookstownbrown]

Yup...It's the biggest day of his life, too. Save the song until you are alone. I have a lot of experience with this marriage thing, so I know what's best...I am currently between ex-wives... You can ask me anything... Hehheh!

[squids]

I dunno.......I agree with the guys who say you should include your man in the decision-making.But truthfully? Weddings are so not about the guy. Sorry if that's not PC but it's true! We wouldn't even have Valentine's Day if it wasn't for women and I know we wouldn't have weddings this elaborate if it wasn't for women. I doubt we'd have weddings at all if it wasn't the church and women.It's all about US! With that in mind, having sung at about a gajillion weddings, I'm going with Bird's suggestion......I sense you'd like to do it so I'm guessin' you will anyway (it's the reception after all, not the formal ceremony) but it's also one more thing in a day of one-more-things that you'll have to think about, including the fact that your man-ta-be doesn't sound like he's that into it. Hope he doesn't think you're setting a precedent by going ahead and doing something he told you he'd rather you not (indirectly). I hope you have a lovely day and that it's all you've dreamed of. I congratulate you both for the impending nuptials and also for not turning into bridezilla. Well done!

[tedsingingfox]

Quote:I congratulate you both for the impending nuptials and also for not turning into bridezilla. Well done! Yay, Squiddie!!!

[stephen]

Hey I wrote a song for my wife and shed tears. Even wobbled a bit during my performance made my wife cry as well. We also sang to each other when exchanging rings. My thoughts it's your day do what you want. Weddings are about emotion, The marraige is what counts.

[Mark Kaufman]

Quote:But truthfully? Weddings are so not about the guy. You mean...I really DIDN'T need to be there?? Just kidding...but honestly, I could never believe my wedding was JUST about one of us. I get the drift, but to really believe that is a good way to alienate your new life partner. My wedding meant EVERYTHING to me. Actually, for both of us, it signified the end of always thinking as "Me" and the beginning of thinking as "We".All I'm suggesting is to communicate with your lifelong love...that "not a gig" comment deserves to be explored. Only you will know best, of course. Hope that day is Beautiful.

[davewalton]

Quote:Quote:But truthfully? Weddings are so not about the guy. You mean...I really DIDN'T need to be there??