Record in studio or not..??

[lou80]

Hi I've just signed up as a member, I was a memeber about a year or so ago but have now rejoined so Hello everyone!!! I was looking to record a three song demo and have a song that I was thinking of recording along with another two...but I would like feedback on the song itself and the lyrics.I've never been to a studio before and I just want to make sure the song stands up, this is not the best take, but at least you can get an idea.Thanks, I really appreciate everyone who takes a listen http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=AI-JyxEMzZoDont YouIt's time you found your way aroundPush through the waves that keep you downThe little lies that let you drownThat keep your face towards the groundThe fear inside, the price it costThe things you wished and things you lostThe ones youve blamed the ones youve crossedThat doubt that lives and bleeds in most of us.ChorusDont you wanna walk above those wallsInstead of hiding outInstead of closing doorsDont you wanna live for something moreThan a dream that falls through those handsthat stallYou know the lies youve heard the causeThe words misread that start all warsYour mums, your dads, your friends words tooIgnoring whats inside of youAnd all the while you feel the painOf living someone elses gameYouve made yourself one sturdy nooseYouve built your worth on what they thinkof youChorusDont you wanna walk above those wallsInstead of hiding outInstead of closing doorsDont you wanna live for something moreThan a dream that falls through those handsthat stallThey say lifes for livingBut you just waste it dreaming awayThey say thats lifes for living...babySo why waste it dreaming away..ChorusDont you wanna walk above those wallsInstead of hiding outInstead of closing doorsDont you wanna live for something moreThan a dream that falls through those handsthat stall

[augustheat]

lou80:Overall, I think this is a pretty cool tune. After I listened to it a few times, I felt myself wanting the vocal to embellish on the melody a bit through the second half of the verses to avoid any redundancy. This might help to set up the chorus' a little better. Also, I like the high note you hit in the chorus on "wanna," but it has to be strong. I know this was just a rough version, but hitting that note will be important. I'm not quite sure about the bridge. I think it works well. I guess it will depend on the arrangement and accompaniment...I can tell you put a lot of passion into writing and performing this song. I love the lyric and the overall feel. Of course all of this is subjective, but I think you have a great tune! Are you thinking of doing it solo acoustic, or with accompaniment?Blessings,

[lou80]

Hey Craig!!!! Thankyou so much for the reply!!I totally agree with you about the vocal having to be strong in the chorus, thats the first thing I noticed when I listened back and it sounds very thin, like I'm not putting full voice behind it. Also I see what you mean about the second verse, it needs some layering to add effect and interest.In my head I imagine a bass and maybe drums to emphasise and shape the lyrics more if that makes sense, the acoustic alone would only be reserved for the ending in the last chorus when I slow it down before speeding it up again.Thankyou so much for your comment and for listening, I really appreciate the feedback.Take Care my friendLouise

[chrislabbe]

you have a beautiful voice. i'm not really sure about the bridge either, i think you need one, but i think it hurts the momentum of the song a bit as written. when it got to that part i was waiting for you to let it out a little bit. just my opinion.i think you have a really nice song here. have you submitted it for any critiques through taxi yet?good job and good luck!

[lou80]

Hey Chris!!! Thanks for the reply my friend!!The bridge isn't the strongest part of the song, lyric wise it sort of repeats itself, but I was finding the words weren't coming to me for that part so I thought I'd repeat the line to reinforce it. When you say let it out, do you mean vocally??I haven't submitted it to Taxi, how much do they charge for a song evaluation??? Actually I might take a look now. Thanks again for listening to my song Take CareLouise

[chrislabbe]

i know the chorus is really emotional, but i think i was looking for a bigger release or change in the bridge.

[lou80]

Hey Chris!!!I'll have to look more at the bridge, see what I can do. Thankyou my friend for your feedback, it's much apreciated!!

[chrislabbe]

great song louise. good luck.

[stevelane]

A lovely song Lou80I'm so sorry but I had to give you a +10 on your youtube ratingFor Exellent performance in so many area'sSteve

[lou80]

Hey Steve!!!Thank you so much, thats very sweet of you my friend I'm really glad you liked it Thanks for listening!!Take CareLouise