Redneck My Ride

[couchgrouch]

Redneck My RideWell, migratin' swallows don't do my truck no goodso I use one of Aunt May's mumus to cover the hoodI tore it off and poured a jug marked X in the tankthen took a swig and me n the truck began to crankwell, my cousin Jed was weddin' some gal up northI hit the road backfirin' like cherry bombs on the FourthI had a pornstar moustache and a tuxedo t-shirtso before I left I thought it wouldn't hurtto redneck my ridemaybe give it some classtossed some cowhideover teethmarks on the dashcovered rust on the bumperwith NRA stickerswashed the deer blood off the fenderwith hundred proof liquorain't got no leather ain't got no chromebut those matts are turkey feathersthat old shiftknob is boneain't she a beautyain't she a sightyeah Buddy I rednecked my ridewell, I'd been pushin' ninety since I passed Roanokesaw a cop with his cherry flashin' through my Chevy's smokelost him the pines in a chase of squeals n skidmarksleft that trooper's grill chewin' on evergreen barkI showed up early but cousin Jed got there latehe drove fifty with Aunt May on his poor tailgateand they say that cop looked at his car and furrowed his browwhen the tower showed up he said all you can do nowis redneck my ridetry n give it some classtoss some cowhideover teethmarks on the dashcover rust on the bumperwith NRA stickerswashed the deer blood off the fenderwith hundred proof liquorforget the leather forget the chromemake those matts old turkey feathersreplace that knob with boneain't she a beautyain't she a sightyeah Buddy just redneck my ride(c)2006 Robert George