Return on Y110111BL - Do you agree with this screener?

[Casey H]

Hey Ott
The screener thought it was right on target but that the melody wandered too much and didn't resolve. What matters for this discussion is whether one thinks that issue does exist with the melody line here.

Thanks
Casey

[matto]

I think I hear what the screener is talking about. The song is somewhat disjointed formally and harmonically. Especially in the context of the blues genre, which tends to be quite simple and predictable both formally and harmonically. Also, it sounds like you came up with a bunch of chords you liked (definitely NOT a typical blue progression as I'm sure you realize), then tried to fit a bluesy melody over the top of them, and that's why the melody sounds a bit "lost" and "wandering" and "not resolving properly".
Also, on the fourth chord, there's a note in the melody that doesn't fit the chord (#5 where the chord demands a regular 5), so it's definitely not "resolving properly" there.

I think in a sense the screener is saying what you expected him/her to say but in a different way. Instead of saying, "It's bluesy but not really blues, and therefore not on target", the screener is saying "it is blues, but musically not really "right" for blues..too wandering and "unresolved".

Potatoes/Potahtoes...

[Casey H]

I think I hear what the screener is talking about. The song is somewhat disjointed formally and harmonically. Especially in the context of the blues genre, which tends to be quite simple and predictable both formally and harmonically. Also, it sounds like you came up with a bunch of chords you liked (definitely NOT a typical blue progression as I'm sure you realize), then tried to fit a bluesy melody over the top of them, and that's why the melody sounds a bit "lost" and "wandering" and "not resolving properly".

I think in a sense the screener is saying what you expected him/her to say but in a different way. Instead of saying, "It's bluesy but not really blues, and therefore not on target", the screener is saying "it is blues, but musically not really "right" for blues..too wandering and "unresolved".

Potatoes/Potahtoes...

Hi Matto
Thanks for the listen and the feedback.

Casey