Rewrite for " Even Angels Fall "

[songmaster]

I listened to some of the advice I received for this song and I am very grateful for all of it. I decided to keep the title, even though " Sometimes Angels Fall " was suggested. After I thought it over I realized that that title would really change the entire song. It is still a good title, maybe for another song.

Here is the revised song.

Even Angels Fall

With these imperfect eyes
We struggle in the dark
Like desperate fireflies
Escape a broken jar
So there we lie at night
Facing separate walls
But faith forgives the blind...because
Even angels fall

Our words can wound the soul
Ignite the air we breathe
Can freeze like Winters cold
Then burn like Summers heat
Sometimes we mess up love
We're human after all
God knows we can't give up...because
Even angels fall

Chorus

I believe, we need to be
So strong, that we won't give up
The only lies, that can tear our lives
Are the ones we tell...ourselves.

Life can knock us down
But that is not the end
Love can lay the ground
With hope our every step
So where we go from here
Won't matter much at all
We'll find our grace in tears...and know
Even angels fall
Even angels fall.

[inga]

You have some very good lines in your songs.

You song Angel with attititude is another that is interesting. Ive listened to it a few times over two days and each time I see the same thing - It would be MUCH stronger if you removed the "yeah yeah.. at 50 seconds into the song. its also repeated further into the song. Your song is interesting and fresh. But many have "yeah yeah.." in their songs. its been over used. And you weaken your good song by having it.

[songmaster]

Hi Inga You are very observant concerning " Angels with an attitude ". Thank you for listening to it. When I submitted it for a country artist, the screener said the same thing. He/She wasn't crazy about the yeah yeah yeahs. I guess it only works for the Beatles. Unfortunately, because it's a demo, it would cost me a lot of money to go back and change it, when I'd rather use that money for new songs. Oh well, live and learn. Thanks again. Tom.