I'm listening to the new version. I almost missed that there was one.
It's a cool track. I think you should get to the "meat" much sooner. It's very repetitious for the first 25 seconds. Overall, I'm hearing good stuff but not enough high intensity "pumping bass lines, punchy drums, and crunchy guitars" per the listing. The part that comes in at 00:25 is close, but I think it needs more intensity. The 1:27 area gets going well.
A&R people have to hear what they want very early on or they will click to the next track. You do want some build, but you can't wait too long for your track to scream that high energy thing that's being asked for here.
Do more A/B listens against the reference artists. See what you can do to pump it up more.
Best of luck!
Casey
the comments from the screener were very complimentary too. I don't think the forward would have happened if it hadn't been for the AMAZING feedback from you guys. Thank you so much 