Romantic piano - help me understand forward comment

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DanL
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Romantic piano - help me understand forward comment

Post by DanL » Thu Jun 29, 2017 7:27 am

Hi!

I had a forward on a recent romantic piano listing, you can hear the piano piece on my website, the title is "A Love Poem":
http://www.leksellmedia.se/musik/

The feedback was:
Very nice track Daniel. The transition into second chorus maybe a little rough for this. I'm forwarding this piece on for further review.

Do you know what the reviewer means with the second chorus? Is the part starting at 47 seconds? Is it the change to another key there that the reviewer finds to "rough"?

Thank you,
Dan

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Re: Romantic piano - help me understand forward comment

Post by ttully » Thu Jun 29, 2017 7:47 am

Hi Dan,

That could definitely be where the screener is talking about ....especially the 2nd note at :47.

The first time I listened I was like....that note sounds wrong...and it took me out of the song....

But after listening 3 or 4 times...it doesn't bother me.

But definitely the first time ..I was saying...what was that....it was not the notes I was expecting.

Tim

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Re: Romantic piano - help me understand forward comment

Post by billhewett » Thu Jun 29, 2017 8:47 am

Hi Dan,

It is definitely the sudden key change. You need some sort of melodic or harmonic movement to get from the first key to the second key without sounding so jarring. If you think of it in terms of soundtrack music the music should never be the focus, but that second note loudly announces the key change in a way that would draw the viewer's attention away from the scene or dialog.

Hope this helps!

-Bill

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Re: Romantic piano - help me understand forward comment

Post by Len911 » Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:55 am

That could definitely be where the screener is talking about ....especially the 2nd note at :47.
I agree! It's probably psychological, if the note was accented and not so timid. The transition is the pause. If the note was more assertive it would have indicated you meant it, by being shy, it was almost asking if it was a "wrong" note,lol!
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Re: Romantic piano - help me understand forward comment

Post by ecurb » Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:26 pm

Lovely piece, congratulations on the forward.

I would agree that the 47 second transition would surely be what the screener was concerned about. I believe it jumps out because the melody has been so clearly following the major scale of your initial Db key to that point, but then suddenly, and without giving you a perspective for the shift, isn't. If you wanted to play with alternative versions, you could add a soft E major chord after that last Ab just before the key changed melody... or even make the key change go to Ab instead of to A, which would keep the first notes of the new figure all within the scale of the original key. Though it'd also give you Ab chords both before and at the start of the key change which might sound a little odd.

Or you could just forget about it, since you got the song forwarded anyway :D

Cheers
Bruce.

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Re: Romantic piano - help me understand forward comment

Post by DanL » Fri Jun 30, 2017 5:17 am

Hi!

Thank you so much for your feedback. I'm going to try some kind of modulation or maybe changing to another key to make the transition a little more smooth. I think key changes in many cases work without any modulation, but it certainly depends on what keys your are changing between ... :)

Thanks,
Dan

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Re: Romantic piano - help me understand forward comment

Post by DanL » Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:50 am

ecurb wrote:Lovely piece, congratulations on the forward.

I would agree that the 47 second transition would surely be what the screener was concerned about. I believe it jumps out because the melody has been so clearly following the major scale of your initial Db key to that point, but then suddenly, and without giving you a perspective for the shift, isn't. If you wanted to play with alternative versions, you could add a soft E major chord after that last Ab just before the key changed melody... or even make the key change go to Ab instead of to A, which would keep the first notes of the new figure all within the scale of the original key. Though it'd also give you Ab chords both before and at the start of the key change which might sound a little odd.

Or you could just forget about it, since you got the song forwarded anyway :D

Cheers
Bruce.
Hi Bruce!

Thanks for the idea of changing the key! I ended up changing the second chorus to Ab and the third/last chorus to Eb, at least in my ears that works fine. Now I have the same relation of the key changes between the choruses, the last chord of every chorus being the same as the first chord of the following chorus.

Haven't some Americana rockers used this kind of key changes in their songs? :) At least it sounds familiar in some way.

Best,
Dan

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Re: Romantic piano - help me understand forward comment

Post by DanL » Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:15 am

I have changed the track on my webpage to the new version now.

Best,
Dan

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Re: Romantic piano - help me understand forward comment

Post by billhewett » Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:29 am

Hi Dan,

That sounds much less jarring to my ears, and I'm sure it will be less distracting to a scene. And despite being a more "obvious" or "expected" key change, I think it really lifts the piece nicely.

As a songwriter I know it can be hard to change something that you have already committed to, so hats off to you for taking the suggestions and not letting your ego get in the way! That quality will definitely take a long way in this world.

-Bill

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Re: Romantic piano - help me understand forward comment

Post by ttully » Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:57 am

Ahhhh..that sounds much better!!!

And I second what Bill said about not letting your ego get in the way!

Congratulations on the forward!

Tim

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