Secret Weapon

[couchgrouch]

Secret WeaponGranpa heard I had a datesaid he had a secret weaponand if I just took his wordgood things were gonna happengave me an old jelly jarfull of his homemade whiskeysaid I'd surely get a kissif she got good n ditzyliftwell, we passed that jar back n forthparked in my old pick-upbut that stuff just gave me hivesand gave that poor girl hiccupschorusit's a secret weaponthat should work like a charmjust a little tasteand she'd be in my armscos she's got her own toolslike tight dresses and make-upbut the mojo of that secret weaponshould give me a leg upGranpa came by our houseand took me off alonesaid that girl'd forgive meif she smelled his new cologneswore he found a secret formulathat smelled sweet as custardbut two hours in that Georgia heatmade it smell like mustardliftwell, she wouldn't kiss meand that sure bruised my egoone thing I'll say for that stuffit scared off mosquitoeschorusit's a secret weaponthat should work like a charmjust a little tasteand she'd be in my armscos she's got her own toolslike tight dresses and make-upbut the mojo of that secret weaponshould give me a leg upbridgewhen me n her fin'lly got togetherI hadda wonder whethershe secretly liked my cologne and moonshinebut she said, "I think crazy guys are hotthough you gave me your best shotshooting yourself in the foot each timewas your secret weaponand it worked like a charmjust a little tasteand now I'm in your armscos I've got my own toolslike tight dresses and make-upbut the mojo of your secret weaponsure gave you a leg up"(c)2005 Robert George