Short Pants (Feedback on a Dance Hall Song)

[irwin]

First draft (take) of this song I've created for a short movie in a dance hall scene. Need to be critiqued. All comments are welcome.

https://soundcloud.com/user-148093629/short-pants-1

[irwin]

This is a short video of the first Chorus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCzgbuu9zas

I'd really wanted to hear/read what someone have to say about this song. I am thinking should I give the music production over to someone else or should I keep trying my best to to make it sound well for you guys likeness.

CTWF, I've read your words I am more interesting in this:
"Harmonically, the strings/pads, the piano, and the vocal line need to match more. There seem to be clashes. I would start fixing it with a good short piano chord progression, which you can change up and vary later, and adjust the strings in the second step".

My goal is to make this song a happy song for people to smile and laugh to.

There is confused me......Anyone thinks I should give the music instruments playing over to someone else to do?.

[JuanMacias]

Hi Irwin!

I think the vibe for what you are going "My goal is to make this song a happy song for people to smile and laugh to" is there.
How ever the production is what is not quite on place yet.
I think the voice needs more work. you could start by tuning it and also doubling the main voice and panning left and right to give it more space. maybe add some other voices as harmonies.
I also agree with Tom in this one: "For people who are not native English speakers, such as me, it could make sense if you posted the lyrics on the SoundCloud page"

Juan

[irwin]

[quote=CTWF I fear you need some girls in your video
[/quote]

I fear you need some girls in your video.
[/quote]

Please have a watch/listen https://youtu.be/qn14xlI1Avk

I am so glad you've mention "Girls" CTWF, because I've got that covered. Already done three video shoots two more to complete my music (Song) video project.

[irwin]

Hi Irwin!

I think the vibe for what you are going "My goal is to make this song a happy song for people to smile and laugh to" is there.
How ever the production is what is not quite on place yet.
I think the voice needs more work. you could start by tuning it and also doubling the main voice and panning left and right to give it more space. maybe add some other voices as harmonies.
I also agree with Tom in this one: "For people who are not native English speakers, such as me, it could make sense if you posted the lyrics on the SoundCloud page"

Juan

I very much appreciate you giving your input about my song here. I am always worried about my voice but me being a songwriter I am most worried about the musical end of things. That being said I am happy that some parts are pleasing (Working) for you guys. Now I'll have to look into the parts that aren't working and make it better.

Big thanks Juan

irwin