show me a sign

[heinsite]

hey pablo--i listen to pop FM radio, allot of indie/alt stuff being played, and lots of top 40 teen/20's stuff and i do it in the car for about an hour a day to and from picking up my teens--hell, have to keep up with the trends so i know either what to try NOT to do, or complain about "how the hell did THAT get on the radio.." LOLoh, i went back and listened/looked at the lyrics again, and at the time the last stanza bothered me--until i realized i was dead wrong--as written, it is very strong. the only thing i did notice was the very "formal" you are at times, and then you use contractions most of the time--i'd (LOL..."i'd") use contractions all the way through, as instead of "i could not" or I could not ignore", maybe "i couldn't", 'cuz you use wanna and up till those could nots, i believe you've got all contractions...but hell, that may just be TOO picky, but in my mind you're using a folksy style to try to describe a very deep thought/feeling/contemplation, and it works very well my friend--just a thought...oh, just go on search and plug in keene and i think one of there piano driven tunes will be there--but I NEVER REMEMBER TITLES!!! not even my own most of the time--weird, huh?all the best,warren

[silvercord]

hey ya Paul! NICE JOBI'm with everyone on the post that is impressed with what you have donei admire your chord choices for the verseyour voice sounds goodi have a hunch the song wants to have more of a growl in the vocalsbut i understand how it would be a bit tough to scream out the chorusthose notes are not for the meek!and yeah i do feel allot of the monkeys and even a bit of John Denver'sharmonies in this.i am not a man to judge anyone's progress with authority..but Paul,my fellow Michiganer,..please allow me to say how i feel this productionyou have done shows that you have been doing your homeworkand improving in a multi-faceted way!peace, bro!geoff

[feaker]

WarrenWhen I was still teaching high school I was exposed to all the teen stuff especially coaching basketball and track. Glad that someone is communicating with the teens of today:)I hear you about the "formal" thing. I personally am anything but formal, but I do see what you mean. I guess I am just following the notes and not thinking of the conflict there. Don't ever think you are "being picky". It is important and I would have never gave it that spin.I will check out these reference groups today. I have been bad and gone ice fishing with friends robbing precious studio time. (Good BS session though)GeoffWe haven't shaken hands for a long time. (Go Blue)You have given me the best compliment that I could receive. That I have been improving.I look back on all of my previous songs and see opportunties to change them all now.Going to have a couple different friends try this. Might be tough for the low notes (all I have left)Again, good to hear from you.Paul