Singer/Songwriter Listing

[CamRuss]

Hello Everyone,

Brand new to Taxi & the forum here. I was hoping to get feedback before the deadline but my forum activation approval fell between the cracks. I'd still love some feedback on this track. Here it is:

https://soundcloud.com/fireystar/innocent-carefree

Here is the listing:
U180319SS
SINGER/SONGWRITER SONGS with Male or Female Vocals are U-R-G-E-N-T-L-Y needed by a very high-caliber, A-List Music Licensing Company for a variety of projects they’re pitching to. They’re eagerly searching for Songs in All Tempos in the general stylistic wheelhouse of the following references: “From Afar” by Vance Joy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYUcqmpHJbk “Back To The Bottom” by Port Cities: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvLVyFvjKx0 “Good Vibration” by Brett Dennen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mpPNdgalCk NOTE: They’re open to a wide array of lyric themes, but please avoid songs focusing on romantic love or that are too specific in nature Please submit new and interesting Singer/Songwriter songs that range from emotionally uplifting to melancholy and introspective. Your production style can range from very simple tracks with just acoustic guitar, handclaps, and foot stomps, etc. to small acoustic-based ensembles, and all the way up to more fully produced tracks. Your song should have a really compelling vocal performance if you want to get this Music Company’s attention. Universal lyrics will work best, so please avoid references to specific names, dates, times, places, brands, and profanity.

Cameron

[lesmac]

Really cool track Cameron, great arrangement and I love your voice.

A couple of tweaks maybe:

It could be a tiny bit bass light.

There is some indistinctness [is that a word ] around the marching snare [in the middle], the hand drum/tambo? and maybe the guitar downbeats [panned wide]. I wanted to hear the snare a little more and with a touch more ambience and those beats out wide to come back to the centre or recede a bit. It might be better if the snare hits without the wires were centre and the sizzle panned wide

Dunno if any of that makes sense to you [or me].

Its a lovely track well done.

[CamRuss]

Awesome feedback! I'll definitely work on the bass & snare in the mix. I appreciate the listen.

Thank you!

Cameron

[nylyrics]

Hey Cameron:

I have to say, I love a lot about this. The vocal. The melodies. The instrumentation. The overall song layout, A lot that works,
The issue i have is phrasing. The stop and start between statement and thoughts are out of sync for natural speech and communication of connecting one statement to the next
to maximize what your are saying.

I dont know maybe its intentional and I am missing something contemporary? Others will hopefully bring more input. I am also tossed on what the title is or should be
as it relates to the melodic hooks "cause if you dont" "how will i know" etc.......sound like title spots as much as innoncent carefree.

I am hearing lots of good to great here in my ears -and the only downside is what i mention unless i am out of date on phrasing and you are on target.

I will watch the string to see what others might have to say.

Thanks for posting. Looking forward to more of your songs.

Andy

[CamRuss]

Hi Andy,

Thanks for the lyric feedback. I'm not quite sure what you mean by phrasing being out of sync. Do you have a particular section that you could point out to me as an example of this? Lyrics tend to be my weak spot so I hope there isn't some fundamental thing that I'm totally missing when I write them.

As for the title, I agree...I kind of went back and forth between "How will I know?" and "Innocent & Carefree" and chose the latter just because it seems more attention-getting.

Thanks for the help!

Cameron

[feaker66]

Nice I hear John Denver and james Taylor...especially the intro. Cool song. Something in there is trying to fight with the clarity of the vocal and I am not sure what it is. I am on cheap cans and will listen later. Welcome to this place. I think I am the oldest here???(69) ha ha

Paul

[cosmicdolphin]

Not my style of music but I think you've done a really good job.

I definitely would have thought it was called " How Will I know " if I hadn't already seen the title so I think you're missing a trick there.

Not sure about the tempo change, it's clever but it kinda kills the vibe for me a bit. I think you're in with a shot of a forward though so good luck.

Mark

[nylyrics]

Cameron:

I mean for example:

after the first and third "Cause if you don't" that statement is kind of hanging there - without the "how will I know" following it
not sure if the statement like .........hold me close or bring me gifts is supposed to connect to that thought or is a new thought.
they sound like new thoughts and the "cause if you don't" is an incomplete thought.

I think a few lines re-located here and there would benefit the song. (again i don't hear anyone commenting on this so could be just me)

Good luck.

Andy

[CamRuss]

Awesome, thanks so much everyone! Feels great to get multiple perspectives. I’ll make some edits.

Cameron

[funsongs]

I'm I missing something? If U180319SS is the listing number - which is the due date March 19th, 2018 - is there still an opening for you to submit to it?
It would seem it expired some time ago. Just curious.