Teeny Pop for S111209PO - feedback please!

[Silversun]

Good track.... fits the style your after. Agree with a lot of the above comments, especially think it needs a 'shoutey' chorus. Might be worth making the mix a bit dirtier aswell. My personal preference would be to back of the room a bit on the kit , Bring the bass up and add a bit of crunch. Squash the whole thing a bit more and make more of the guitars in ch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVpfsUQe8y4

Check out the hard panned in yer face guitars in avril track above. Would work well I think.

Love "dance up on my body' by the way. Great vibe

[NeilEbanks]

Haha. That Avril song was one of the references I was using when building it (one day before the listing was due). Great advice, Silver. And thanks for the props on "Dance up on my Body".
Pardon my ignorance and being out of touch on terminology, but what do you mean by adding "crunch"?

[marcblack30]

Hey Neil, I think you have a really good tune in this style! There are a couple of areas where I think could be improved.

1. I would add a crash on the 1 of the pre-chorus "O M G", just feels like something's missing.
2. the bass guitar sounds a bit midi - feels too far back in the mix and during the chorus, i'm not sure what happens but the bass seems to move from the center and there's a drastic change in the sound. During the bridge i would rock the bass up, it almost disappears.
3. you have some clap sounds in there, i would supplement them with some real claps.
4. would like to hear beefier drums, less room as silversun mentioned.
5. the vocal is awesome, for my taste they're just a bit dry.

Hope these suggestions are helpful as they are meant to be, really cool song with great potential!

Best,
Marc

[NYWest]

Hey Neil...

Cool song! Chicks will dig it...universal for them
Wow! Many 'Top Notch' sonic ideas here for you to ponder...

To my ears...
This song is the perfect candidate for you to go straight for the jugular!
Start the song with the chorus 'You're no fun' it's a pretty quick burst so it will work.
In your face, I want your attention, better listen to 'ME' or else vibe.
Anyone listening especially for the first time, will have a peaked interest,
subliminally feeling a need to vest more time in the lyrical plots outcome.
Nix the intro, start w/chorus, then verse etc...I hear a more Orianthi, 'According to you',
guitar-driven angst...Maybe even a guitar lead?

Just my psychic vision
Good Luck...
All the Best...
Billy

[NeilEbanks]

Marc, after reading your comments and relistening, I hear all your suggestions. I'll definitely incorporate. Thanks for the 2nd set of ears. Much appreciated.

Billy, thanks for the props. I don't know about starting with the Chorus. Hmmm. My co-writer had the idea of starting with the spoken "no no nu-uh no" part that's in the bridge, but I thought it would be too much cheese having it in two places. I will certainly keep it in mind though. Thank you for your "psychic vision".