The Girl at the Circle K - Take 2

[cameron]

Hi gang,Would appreciate some feedback on this country tune, as I'm not sure what it needs. I posted the work tape of it a few weeks ago. No sugar coating is necessary... I'm a big boy now, so any comments about what you like or don't like will be much appreciated.Thanks!Camhttp://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_id=217061&stream=true The Girl at the Circle KMy perfect woman was a rodeo queenA real cowgirl with some real tight jeansA self sufficient girl of means Who could wear pearls or bale hayThere's not a lot of country girls 'round herejust convenience stores selling gas and beerso I changed my plans and I ran awaywith The Girl from the Circle KWell she needed lots of coaxing so it took a lot of tripsI must have bought a dozen chili dogs and 'bout a case of SchlitzBut I knew that I could win that girl one dayShe was easy on the eyes and she worked real hardroping guys like me and running credit cardsIt took me quite a while but I could finally sayI got the girl at the Circle KNo she didn't ride a horse but I didn't mindShe had Wrangler jeans and a cute behindThere's lots of pretty women but I have to sayI got mine at the Circle KWell she needed lots of coaxing so it took a lot of tripsI must have bought a dozen chili dogs and 'bout a case of SchlitzBut I knew that I could win that girl one dayShe was easy on the eyes and she worked real hardroping guys like me and running credit cardsIt took me quite a while but I could finally sayI got the girl at the Circle KSo we headed up to Tulsa and we tied the knotand I was just about to learn that wasn't all I gotI can't believe what I gave up that dayto The Girl at the Circle Kwell, I bet the farm and gave it all awayto that Girl at the Circle K

[jwebbinspired]

Cam, This is hilarious. I love it. I LOVE the conversations thrown in there. Is that Jimi doing those talking lines? This is priceless. Way to go.Andy

[momof4]

hey cam - my quick advice would be to shorten the chorus. i am the WORST about shoving a bunch of words in a chorus (one i'm real proud of, too!), but i am starting to see that a simpler chorus makes it more memorable and more singable. just my two cents, of course. erin

[Casey H]

Hi CamSorry it took me so long to listen. Very enjoyable and a great demo! I can't say how it would stand up on a Nashville pitch because it's too far out of my genre. But I really like it. I also had trouble with the "bet the farm" thing at the end and exactly what happened. You have to figure that if some folks here don't get it, the high-bar reviewers will have issues too. I hope you'll let us know what kind of feedback you get on submissions! Nice one! Casey