Congrats on completing your first submission, it's perky enough but I have a few issues with it.
There are 4 reference tracks, three of them sound like indie electro pop but the other doesn't sound like the rest and is an outlier and you've clearly modelled your track after that one. It's usally better to triangulate what they want from all the references rather than make one track that's an inferior facsimile of one in particular especially if it sounds different to the others. Obviously there is a reason that reference track was chosen , but I wouldn't put it in the same genre.
My next issue is it's far too repetitive , it sounds like 1 bar pattern that goes around and around , and although you make a decent attempt at adding and removing new parts it's still got that same one bar pattern underneath. if you listen to Disco Biscuit it's a 4 bar pattern so they get away with it more, plus they have a B section that's different around 1.05. the overall impression I'm left with is that it's a track made from short sample loops , as there's no variation in the keys or strings for example when you'd expect them to at least play something a little more varied every now and again.
The production generally is a little below broadcast quality , the drums aren't strong enough and the mix is rather dull & lifeless. I think the only way to learn is keep doing them , so I wouldn't make wholsale changes to this one but use what you've learned when you start making the next one. In 10 - 20 - 50 - 100 - 500 cues from now you will naturally get better.
Pull the references into your DAW so you can directly A-B with your own track and try to emulate the production sound. If you're not sure then go and find one of the many excellent Youtube channels and learn.
Mark
