Thoughts on my first Indie Electro Pop track?

[jeffdean]

Hi, I'm a new member and I'm hoping to submit my first track in the next few days with a piece I wrote for the listing. It's also my first Electro Pop track.

Does this sound like it's ready to submit? If not, any suggestions on how to improve?

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The listing is https://www.taxi.com/industry#listing-S220419RT

UPBEAT INDIE ELECTRO POP INSTRUMENTALS are needed by a great Music Library with lots of success in Film and TV placements for a variety of Youthful TV, Film, Promotional, and Advertising opportunities.

• "Juicy Fruit" by Huw Williams - https://youtu.be/_5ZLAsP3KEI

• "Close To Me" by Josha Daniel - https://youtu.be/JrHnhsSE0mI

• "Disco Biscuit" by Laurence D. Holcombe, Jeffrey S. Russell, & Aaron T. Greenwood - https://youtu.be/r0jdDN07F3M

• "High Enough" by Lodola & Quentyn feat. Pikes - https://youtu.be/LIvirNcPLEw

My track is:

https://soundcloud.com/zilkey/electro-p ... al_sharing

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Thank you!

[jeffdean]

Thank you - it’s public now.

(I’ll send a note to admins asking to add a clarification to the upload page)

[cosmicdolphin]

Thank you - it’s public now.

(I’ll send a note to admins asking to add a clarification to the upload page)

LInk still not working

[gitanosoy]

Here is a video I made on how to post a track:

https://youtu.be/gkr96Inx-Vc

[jeffdean]

Thanks everyone.

Here's a SoundCloud link:

https://soundcloud.com/zilkey/electro-p ... al_sharing

[cosmicdolphin]

Thanks everyone.

Here's a SoundCloud link:

https://soundcloud.com/zilkey/electro-p ... al_sharing

Congrats on completing your first submission, it's perky enough but I have a few issues with it.

There are 4 reference tracks, three of them sound like indie electro pop but the other doesn't sound like the rest and is an outlier and you've clearly modelled your track after that one. It's usally better to triangulate what they want from all the references rather than make one track that's an inferior facsimile of one in particular especially if it sounds different to the others. Obviously there is a reason that reference track was chosen , but I wouldn't put it in the same genre.

My next issue is it's far too repetitive , it sounds like 1 bar pattern that goes around and around , and although you make a decent attempt at adding and removing new parts it's still got that same one bar pattern underneath. if you listen to Disco Biscuit it's a 4 bar pattern so they get away with it more, plus they have a B section that's different around 1.05. the overall impression I'm left with is that it's a track made from short sample loops , as there's no variation in the keys or strings for example when you'd expect them to at least play something a little more varied every now and again.

The production generally is a little below broadcast quality , the drums aren't strong enough and the mix is rather dull & lifeless. I think the only way to learn is keep doing them , so I wouldn't make wholsale changes to this one but use what you've learned when you start making the next one. In 10 - 20 - 50 - 100 - 500 cues from now you will naturally get better.

Pull the references into your DAW so you can directly A-B with your own track and try to emulate the production sound. If you're not sure then go and find one of the many excellent Youtube channels and learn.

Mark

[jeffdean]

Thanks @cosmicdolphin!

You were spot on with regard to the references. I was having a hard time figuring out how to translate the vocal references to a pure instrumental, so Disco Biscuit was the easiest to use as inspiration.

I really appreciate how much time you spent on that feedback, and I can see what you mean on every point (including needing to just keep doing more). Thank you for your time.

I haven't submitted this one yet so if I have enough time before the submission I'll try to address these issues. If I can't get to most of them, I'll probably wait until something more similar comes along.

[cosmicdolphin]

I was having a hard time figuring out how to translate the vocal references to a pure instrumental,

No worries, depends on the genre but generally some sort of melodic hook and /or a light molody but more sparse than a vocal would be. Call / response type stuff can work well.