"Time for me to go" Country theme

[slowdance]

glender,

Country sounding for sure......lyric boys have already stated their cases....so I will side with your mom...I like it...

Dick

[remoteoutofcontrol]

I liked the song, it was very professionally done! I basically agree with the feedback you've got so far. All the best!

Ken.

[cameron]

Hey Glen,

I know it can be frustrating to get opinions that don't always coincide with your own feelings about the song... happens to me all the time. Ultimately you have to decide what's right for your song.

I posted a song here a few weeks ago, and a few people said the pauses in the chorus ruined the momentum. I grumbled about it, but ultimately I agreed that the song was better when I took the pauses out. Yesterday, (now that the song is "fixed") I received a review from another web site that said "it would be better if the singer paused between the phrases in the chorus". So, everyone's got an opinion, and quite often they're at odds with each other. I'm secure in knowing I made the right choice though because I tried it both ways and that's what worked for me.

Trust your own instincts, but keep and open mind and don't settle for less than your best. (I'm not real good at following my own advice BTW!)

Cam

[rnrmachine]

Hey Glen,

When I was in high school I was in the most advanced class in english, on top of that, our teacher took four of us aside and taught us seperately from the rest of the class. (I acutally earned college credits for it) We had different assigments and everything. When the other students didn't have homework we still did. I think I did well because I LOVED telling stories in short story form. Book form is too long for me. I also won awards for poetry, which is very different from song writing.

All of that and I still find it VERY hard to fit a whole story into a few lines. I often have to drop things I don't want to. BUT a professional songwriter once told me, "If you can't tell the story in a standard length song, then maybe you should write a book." Another thing she told me. If the story is about a real life event, YOU and YOUR family may get the whole picture because you/they know the story. But the listener who does not know the story can not be expected to just "get it" without explicited details. This is where the real professionals earn their coinage. They figure out how to get the entire story accross with very little space and time to tell it. Using similes and metaphores, something that takes a lot of thinking outside the box.

Your song is very good, a standard story in a country style song. I thought I got it just fine too. I just thought it was told in a not so professional way, close but a bit short. I took it as you met a women had a great time (1st verse) (btw, who was watching the kids while you two spent the summer at the beach? HAHA). She has children so now you were gonna put your dreams aside, (whatever they are, one can only assume they were involved in music because you are now writing a song, but also could have been, you wanted to be a pro ice skater etc...) get a "real" job and become a normal working member of society (2nd verse). I just had a major problem with you stating that you're gonna get a job before you state that you accept the family and that it would make a man of you. Because of this family you accept the responsibility of becoming a provider... is the way I took it. But it wasn't written that way. It seemed to me, putting the cart before the horse. Would have seemed that way to anyone in my english class as well. (the four of us that is).

The crime thing I just didn't get at all. Why would it be a crime to write a song about this woman and the small mention of her kids? Did you leave her to go back to your dreams and feel guilty? if so you really need to find a way to say that. Only then would the crime line work at all.

If you do goto write this with a pro, hired or what not, I am confident they would ask you to tell them the whole story from start to finish. THEN they would figure out a way to tell it in song format. Unless of course it is a made up story, but I don't get that feeling, I think it is a real life story of yours.

The changes I offered up I did not expect you to actually use, I was just trying to get you to see that one small error and look at your song in a fresh point of view. After all, I am no pro song writer either, helping you also helps me think about it for my more intimate songs,

Rob

Sorry for the short story here, I had a lot to say and would rather just say it then not.