(Tomorrow Will Be a) Lonely Day -- Country

[mikeShort]

I visualize (audiolize?) this song sounding like something Little Big Town would do. What do you think?

Lonely Day
by Michael B. Short (c) 2012

Momma said
Don't play in the road
So I won't
Momma said
Look both ways
But I won't
'Cuz that way's the way you're gone

Chorus
And your taillights
Are eaten by the hungry night
It'll swallow
Anything anyone sends its way
And tomorrow
Will be a lonely day

I've got a new
Set of holes
In my jeans
'Cuz I pleaded
And begged
On my knees
But you slammed the door and hit the gas

Chorus

You got dreams
But I ain't in them
I ain't in them
But how could I know
I had dreams
But now they're broken
Now they're broken

As your headlights
Are eaten by the hungry night
It'll swallow
Anything anyone sends its way
And tomorrow will be
Tomorrow will be
Tomorrow
Will be a lonely day

[ocean]

I'm not that familiar with Little Big Town.
Just wanted to say I like your lyrics, and especially this part:

"I've got a new
Set of holes
In my jeans
'Cuz I pleaded
And begged
On my knees"

[burpo]

I really like it. I hear it sung by Timothy B. Schmit.

I'd rephrase the last line of the first verse, though.
I feels awkward to me.

The lyric is spacious, allowing for some really sweet melody.
Bravo. Great start.

[inga]

-suggest change to -

Momma said
- -

Don't play in the road
-don't play in road-

So I won't
- so won't -

Momma said
- -

Look both ways
- -

But I won't
-but won't -

'Cuz that way's the way you're gone
- cos thats the way, the way you're gone -

[mikeShort]

Now that the forum has some activity again (whoo hoo! Hallelujah! Yippee!), I thought I'd publish the final version of this song, now called Taillights:

Taillights
by Michael B. Short (c) 2012

I've got a new set of holes
In my jeans
'Cuz I pleaded and begged
On my knees
But you slammed the door and hit the gas

Chorus
And your taillights
Are devoured by the hungry night
It will swallow
Anything anyone sends its way
And tomorrow
Will be a lonely day

You left me standing alone
Like a clown
It's all I can do to
Turn around
'Cuz that way is the way you're gone

Chorus

You got dreams
You've gone to chase them
I ain't in them
That's for sure
I had dreams
But I can't reach them
Now they're fading

With your taillights
Devoured by the hungry night
It will swallow
Anything anyone sends its way
And tomorrow will be
Tomorrow will be
Tomorrow
Will be a lonely day

So I submitted it, and they said it sounded like Johnny Cash. So now I've been compared to Cash, Springsteen and Richard Thompson, but still no forwards!

[mikeShort]

Burpo: "I'd rephrase the last line of the first verse, though. I feels awkward to me."

I thought a lot about your comment when I was reworking the song, but in the end decided to go with the more unusual wording (it's now at the end of the second verse). I could have said "'Cuz that way is the way you've gone" but I didn't, and I'm not going to. I understand why someone would, but for me, it's more plaintive if "that way" is the direction of the state of the singee, rather than the singee herself (or himself).