"Too similar to a top charting dance pop song"?

[leadsynth]

Got a mystery on my hands here...

Screener 356 said:
"The melody here is a little too similar to a top charting dance pop song right now. Try to mix the melody up just a little more...perhaps adding in a few different notes and taking some away from a melody that is already out there so that it's not as similar."

With regards to my demo for "Carried Away," which you can hear here:
http://www.taximusic.com/hosting/home.p ... =mayakuper

Help me out here, folks! Any ideas what song that could be?

[leadsynth]

Well, I guess anyone who listened to "Carried Away" is just as lost as I was. I wish the screener could have been specific!

[CJW]

My kids listen to top 40 all day long - I thought it was a nice melody - but it didn't jump out as similar to something that's out there now.

But I liked it - Good luck!

[marcblack30]

Can't put my finger on it, but it reminds me of a melody from a country tune, what is it... maybe "the gambler"??? Surely that's not what the screener was thinking. I thought the vocal level could come up some.

Marc

[deantaylor]

...
imo, the screener should have given you the name of the song. why keep that a secret?

[songmaster]

I hear elements of Owl City " fireflies" , but I don't know what song the screener is talking about. It would help if they gave the name of the song.

I like this tune and I know it belongs somewhere. Hope you find a home for it soon.

Tom.

[shoodBworkin]

Add in a few different notes and take some away.

[Eric Bolvin]

There's melody in today's dance-pop??

Eb

[NathanNasby]

There's melody in today's dance-pop??

haha - Exactly.

That's a frustrating one. When I listen to the verse there is another song on the tip of my tongue, but it never did come to me. Regardless, that is not a very helpful return and leaves a person guessing as to what exactly to change the song to so it doesn't sound like another top song. >.> !

I do see the screeners problem here though. Interestingly enough I played this song and my wife heard it and called out who this was and when I said your name she called back "But it's that someone elses song". She didn't know that was even what this forum discussion was about. I had the same feeling...... It's there but I can't think of it specifically. Maybe that's what happened to the screener. Either way the communication wasn't clear enough. I don't think this is a recent top 40 knock off. It sounded more Amy Grant or 15 years ago disney era to me.

I really like the vibe of this song and it has a great pop feel to it, but it might be worth changing the melody enough to make it sound fresh.

Don't get frustrated on this. I think the screener is giving some good advise here and you have a great song so I'd rework it a bit and you've got a unique winner IMO!

[shoodBworkin]

Dunno about 'top charting dance pop song'. I'm hearing something similar to the first verse of an old Kendall's song, "I'm Already Blue".

"Oh I'll survive I know this old heart will mend
I've been hurt before and I'll be hurt again . . . "

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i21VDSJDsf4