Touch The Sun

[mcanty]

Hey guys I just changed the ending..........what do you think? should be able to click same link

[geo]

tt....Like the ending... though I would do the complete chorus twice round... not just the second part....also how about...Rising faster, breaking freeI don't like this world it's not for meI'm not coming down until I touch the sunthat line is a little akward... aside from that I really dig this song.... maybe a little "bigger" sound/production on last chorus....Good luck with it!!!Peace, Geo

[philschon]

I like that ending. Completely unexpected

[davekershaw]

Nice track Mark.It's got a poignancy to it.I did ponder the same point geo made aboutthat line, but after a couple of listens I think it's OK now.Production sounds good to me. Some nice effects.I didn't hear the original ending. This one's unusual, but I thinkit's an anti-climax.Personally, I'd have leaned towards the chorus repeating and building, adding more as it went, a bit like "I Am The Walrus"." I think the song lends itself to that sort of treatment.Maybe add a couple of "stick it up yer jumpers" in there.Maybe that's what your original ending was like! Then again, I suppose that's fine if it's your own recording,but if your pitching the song it wouldn't be so useful.Good work.Dave.

[mcanty]

Dave:Thanks for the review. Please define "stick it up your jumpers"Mark

[davekershaw]

Mar 14, 2009, 3:29pm, mcanty wrote:Dave:Thanks for the review. Please define "stick it up your jumpers"MarkUmpa Umpa stick it up yer jumper, as in "I Am The Walrus"Guess my joke missed it's Mark! Don't know about a definition but:





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