Traditional Country Collaboration

[ideascapes]

Understand Aaron--just wanted to throw some reactions your way. Definitely you should do whatever best serves your conception of the song.V>

[jwebbinspired]

Maybe we should break up the verses a little more? Would that give the same effect? Sing songy is okay, but predictable is not good...that means it doesn't stand out.She rolled her eyes when I walked upAnd I smiled as I sat down(pause)She said I'm not lookin' for loveNothin' but heartbreak in this townSo before you buy me a drinkWhat on earth makes you thinkYou're differentSo I said

[ontariolightning]

I understand totally Vince, i appreciate all your suggestionsThat sounds like a good idea too Andrew

[cameron]

Hey guys,I'm guessing Aaron came up with the title, because he's, well... different. Just kidding, Aaron. I don't hear it as a George Strait song, more somebody like Toby Keith, as mentioned. But hell, my latest work tape sounded like Willburys and the studio damned near turned it into bluegrass, so things can change a lot just with instrumentation.Andy, your voice sounds just fine. You could demo it with you singing no problem.I like the idea and the lyrics OK, but in some places the melody seems a bit weak. The line "Yeah I know talk is cheap and men they walk and yeah they cheat" is really good, but it's one place where the melody just doesn't seem to grab me. Of course, melody is such a subjective thing, so just take this as one person's opinion, but it seems to me like it needs more of a melodic hook.Cam

[jwebbinspired]

Aaron did come up with the title and the idea It's ok to be differentMelody is always haunting me. I feel like it could use some more life, but I don't know where to take it. Cam do you think it would help if on the line "Yeah I know talk is cheap and men they walk and yeah they cheat" we went up "cheap"?Andy

[cameron]

Andy,When I run out of ideas I sometimes try substituting chords, which almost always leads to a new place melodically. So for that line try this (I think you're in the key of F#): F# F#/E bass B D Yeah I know that talk is cheap and men they walk and yeah they cheatLeave the melody of the "Yeah I know that talk is cheap" as it is now then let the chords lead you to a new melody for the rest of the line.Make sense?Camp.s. The forum takes the spaces out, but with 8 beats in that line the chord changes would fall on 1, 3, 5 and 7

[jwebbinspired]

Thanks Cam. That's some very good advice. We will do that and see what we can come up with.

[momof4]

okay, so bear with me...i'm trying to figure out the hook...is it just "i'm different", no twists or double meanings or anything? if so, well...i don't know, i guess it just says it like it is, which isn't necessarily bad, i guess. first of all, i like the first verse a lot, i can totally picture it in my head - she's sitting there, sipping a drink, he struts in, all confident, smiles out of the corner of his mouth, and plops himself down next to her like he's all that. she's put off - "you're no different than the rest of them". however, while he seems a little cocky, he's cocky for the right reasons (if that's possible). he's not the cheating kind, not the kind to break her heart or use her. my only question is, does the way he presents himself really line up with the concept that he's different? if a guy did that to me, i'd be slightly amused at his boldness, but it'd be hard to take him seriously. he approaches her trying to "sell himself", but it's kind of in a humorous, flirty way (or so it seems, the way he smiled and plopped himself down next to her), so then hearing him swear he's the faithful type and yada yada...leaves me, as a woman, thinking "yeah, doubtful....".anyhoo, just some things to think about. i like the melody and with a pro country singer, i think it could totally work. it's got some attitude, some tenderness, a good message...seems like it would have some potential.

[ontariolightning]

hey Erin thanks for listeniningYeah it is pretty much straightforward, it's pretty hard to be in his position, liking a girl who doesn't trust guys because all shes been is hurt by them so he might come across as cockyI think we have to remember hes a guy and we don't have many ideas when it comes to this LOLIt's either this or hey baby hey baby heyI understand how it'd leave the woman doubtful as she is in the song tooThanks for weighing inhave a good day!

[heinsite]

hey guys,i think you're definitely on to something here.this is what i think FWIW----really like the "i'm different" hook line,,, but don't know why the heck you're cramming the word "honey" into the chorus--doesn't fit, never will. get rid of it IMHO...."im different" is just fine, no? it's also your title...the first time and now it's still streaming for the 4th time, the meter in that line doesn't work with "honey" IMHO..--like the story line, though i think that in a few other places you've got some lines with too many words as well, and i'd personalize one of them for sure...."compared to the guys 'I'VE SEEN YOU WITH..." to let us know he knows a little about her...just one suggestion...--but i like the basic music here, and it has very good possibilities--hey and i know how pissed i get sometimes when folks talk about my well thought out lyrics, so take what i say with a grain. i DO like the basic tune here, very good start.the best,warren